Choices..............

Health Up_date:
Hello friends I am okay emotionally, my head is a little clearer and I am quite peaceful mentally.
Physically...........well, my body is extremely sore and tense with spasms down my left side but I am coping with meds. Enough of the health crap I am over it(Smile)

I am so happy that my babes will be home in a couple of days. I miss them more with each year that passes.
Time does not stop for anybody and it is going far too quickly the older they get, the further from my control they drift and the tighter I seem to try to hold on, obviously I have to let go but as I have said before, that is the hardest part of having them.
If yours are little trust me! If you have already been there you know, and I am sure would agree that it sneaks up on you all of a sudden.
It seems one minute your changing nappies and then there first day of school arrives the phone calls from the opposite and same sex start calling, like, all so like regularlike.
Then its party time and work or college, my first 2 opted work.
My girlfriend in Brisbane wants them before I pick them up, as she just loves having them around as well and now we live an hour away she Misses them even more as we used to see her at least 2/3 times a week.
I miss them though, and, I am in a dilemma, do I let them have fun with my girlfriend and sacrifice those few days? or do I turn into a selfish cow pick them up and bring them home and smother them with my love to the point were they are just like melted chocolate on my finger tips.

AHhh the beauty of Choices.......Sigh......... I do not consider myself selfish in my actions (or I try not to be), on the other hand I am definitely selfish in my thoughts and all aspects of time with my babes.
As much as I like time away to just be, with me alone or time with Ben.
When I am connecting with my babies I soak up every second like a fresh dry sponge.
Don't get me wrong I just reread that line(giggle)I am so not sitting here proclaiming I am a perfect mum and that I soak up all they do and say with a love and intensity that precludes all other women and that i am second to none, because I can be a right B#*^h as well and I can yell until I am blue in the face and................................
I do just sometimes switch off and ignore them. Sometimes I hide and also pretend I am asleep. ALL of those Things happen on occasion but collectively I live to see them smile and wrap their loving arms around my waist and put their heads to my heart while I whisper words of love in their ears.
I decided to ask the girls and they want me to decide uh oh what to do?????

Well to bad, I am not deciding now I will think about tomorrow I need to rest more. (maybe that's my answer it is quality after all) I am sick of drug-induced sleep but I am also grateful for it and this poem by deb sums it up perfectly.

Health and Peace to you all xxxx

Edit: My girls will be staying with Lyndell she just rang and is very excited as is her gorgeous son Darcy who is 3. Lyndell was my bestie in High School and was the only one who new my secret life outside of school, she married my best guy friend and so it gets dicey when they fight but we are so close it all works out, Lyndell is the second more fun mum to my girls and they adore her sooooo I am a little jealous but if I have to share my girls with anybody its definitely going to be her I trust her completely and that's the main thing, I guess I will have to rest up so I am of some quality when they finally come home :)