Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My miracle Dad

I had to share, life has been tough since Ben was stabbed and I am in the process of writing an impact statement for court as she will be sentenced next Monday. Ayesha wrote on that she wanted the judge to read and it sums things up better than I ever could.


My name is Ayesha I am 14 years old and this is my statement.
As I heard my mum from her room crying and stumbling around trying to find the car keys I walked into her room I was shocked when she told me “Ben has been stabbed but go back to sleep it will all be okay ill come get you soon”. I had no idea what she was talking about as I was still half asleep and at that time she was not quiet straight with what she was saying either as she was in such distress, I went back to my bed with a million thoughts running through my head trying to figure out just what she meant by the last thing she had told me before she ran quickly to the car and drove away. At 4am being woken up by a person you had only met once was quiet confusing but I knew he was going to take us to the hospital and he said to us that Ben was in hospital and mum was already there, when we got to the hospital the room was filled with all the security boys. It was something I will never forget walking into a room of gigantic guys all crying as they waited to see if there treasured mate would make it. As we walked up to the waiting room mum was in, she was pacing back and forth outside the huge green coloured doors where I knew Ben was, as mum locked her crying eyes on ours she ran to us hugging us tightly saying she wasn’t sure yet but we are all praying for him to pull through. It felt like forever waiting for our dad to come back to us, then finally the massive green doors swung open and there he was, a man that so many people were counting on to make it, a father figure to me and someone that had helped so many people in the toughest of times but now no one there could do a thing for him but pray and wait. He was wheeled out on a big white bed, so still and looking all of a sudden very fragile, everyone waiting was so very grateful for the miracle that the surgeon had just completed, bringing back someone that had always been there for me and my family. The times we visited him in the hospital were usually very short as he would drift in and out of sleep, but every moment I spent with him from then on was valued. Seeing him with all those tubes down his throat, needles in his hands and a 20cm cut down his stomach will be stuck in mind forever, and it will be looked upon and remembered as the day my dad almost died. When he came back home with us although we knew he was safe and going to be okay, still not all of him was there and still isn’t today. When we go somewhere as a family we always have to think if Ben will be comfortable doing that. Going to the beach together cannot be enjoyed as it used to be as he is very self conscious of his scar and does not like people looking at it or asking about it. Going to the shopping center changed as well as if it is too crowded we have to leave as Ben gets fidgety and uncomfortable. Although I am forever thankful of his return to us I just wish he was the same Ben we used to wake up to every morning before the 18th May 2008.

Ayesha Madden

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You have to Love Australia we went back to where I lived for 15 years Cairns........ In North Queensland I love and miss this place a lot. We stayed in Cairns then up to Port Douglas and on to Cape Tribulation in the Daintree it was awesome to share the beauty of thes places with Ben.
















Well its been a while and I don't know what to say life is busy and complicated. We are waiting for the sentencing of the woman who tried to murder Ben and I just cant seem to get things on track.
We went on our honeymoon and it was peaceful. I wish I could escape and be a permanent backpacker but instead I am in the market for a job. It has been a long time and the pressures that present themselves in achieving this are a little daunting.
I am well and the fibromyalgia is for most part being kind to me but stress is a huge trigger.My motivation for anything at the moment is not where i hoped it would be but i am sure things will eventually fall into place. I hope all is well with you all and I hope to reconnect with you all soon.
By the way I am going to be a grandmother :)Danicka is nearly 4 months pregnant and we are overjoyed at the prospect. Ben is going to be a Poppy before he is a dad but he is totally excited.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

My Wedding Day


Kyle walking me in. You have no idea how surreal this moment was for me my son giving me away was very special.

Trouble comes in 3's hear no see no speak no evil lol

Our first Kiss................


Signing the certificate


We stayed in Noosa an extra couple of days and I have just gotten Home so I thought I would quickly put up a few pics for you all to see. It was aBeautiful day and we had such a great night I ahave so many wonderful memories of this day it will stay with me forever.

Will fill you in on the events of the day soon xxx

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hey guys just a quick Hi.
Its late again with only 2 sleeps to go and I am tired damn its hard work getting married when the wedding party comprises of all your kids and one other guy who is Ben's mate and I may as well be his mother too lol.
I am so damn busy and in so much pain with my back I could scream. My excitement is turning into fatigue and I am a little over it all to be honest.
I am not the most organised person in the world but I try. So much is going on I am loosing it.
I still am a lot brain foggy and a little concerned its been a long time since treatment and my head is not quite back to normal but we will see once all the stress dies down (if it ever does)
I need a bit of a whinge so don't think I am not OK I am but I am just tired and nervous.
Ben's mum and dad are great but they cant do what I cant remember LOL They are really trying to take the load off and I adore them for that but WoW its just crazy the last minute stuff.
Kim is trying so hard to make it all easier and make it all about me I feel really loved she is one of my bestest friends and she is going to be my mum in law I am an extremely blessed woman.

Anyway still lots to do, I wont be back until Monday so Love you all and have a great weekend I know I will and when I return I will be a MRS OHhhh sounds good HUH?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

4 days Holly Shit.............

Danicka and her boyfriend Lewis
Me ofcourse between two of my favourite fellas my brother Danny and of course my soon to be Hubby!!!!
The Birthday girl and I. (hate that shes taller lol)
4 more days and its all happening.
I cant sleep its after midnight and I am wide awake I cant believe its all happening i just a few days but it is and there are so many little things left to do but I have decided what doesn't get done wasn't important enough and I don't care. That's my excuse for not really being organised and I am stickin to it.
Just a note to say I haven't backed out yet lol and we are keeping it together so just a quick Hi
and I will be back just before we leave to go to the Hotel on Ben's birthday Friday night.
He gets it good who can forget their anniversary the day after your Birthday.

Ok this is my SONG to dance to as my first dance with Ben (just for you Dana ;) Its a bit soppy but hey I love the words.
And I am getting married after all so there has to be a little sop I reckon ;)