Vain?????
vanity
• noun 1 excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements. 2 the quality of being worthless or futile.
— ORIGIN Latin vanitas, from vanus ‘empty, without substance’
I am a Leo; Astrologically, I am not a huge “Believer” as such.
I do think there are definite characteristics of people born of similar periods in any given year. There are definite coincidences of behavior and I have many friends who follow this closely. I read it just for fun.
In saying, this trait of the Leo is there mane or in my case hair, it is discussed in detail the pride of appearance and so on.
My hair has always been more than just hair. I have always admired beautiful long healthy hair it is just something I notice and appreciate along with teeth, if you look after your hair and nails (I chew them yikes) then you take some pride in yourself and so on. That is a good thing yeh?
I have never been adventurous with my hair, wild cuts and colors and so on, except for once WooPs (who did not love Cyndi Lauper?) Thank god, it used to grow really, quickly.
Nevertheless, let us just say long straight hair was me other than that particular moment giggle. I had a lot of hair, it was thick, and I always felt good with my appearance when my hair was clean and at its best. As my illness has progressed over the years my hair has suffered. It has become more dull, thinner, shorter and weaker.
Now it seems the thought that treatment may not affect my hair any worse than it has already seems to be just a dream. It is now thinning badly. This leaves me with many thoughts and questions about myself.
Am I silly because the thought of loosing all my hair makes me cringe?
Do I have too much so called Pride to shave my head if I require it?
Is it wrong to be thinking of every option to avoid having no hair?
Do I put to much importance in my appearance concerning my hair.
Will others still view me the same way with no hair?
Should I care and should it upset me?
Should I admit to it?
Will Ben still look at me the same way? you know, when we get cozy.
Does this make me Vain?
I would hate to think that I am and I don’t really think I am but is my judgment jaded by what I don’t want to be and again by my own opinion of myself..
On the other hand, is it clear that I put too much emotional value on how I look?
Alternatively, do I care more about other people’s visual opinion of me or my own?
I am blessed for this treatment to be even working and I feel so selfish and ungrateful for my feelings on this subject. I am no Demi Moore that’s for sure.
Maybe if I was I could deal with it but now the thought of loosing my hair is not making me smile.
Friedrich Nietzsche wrote that "vanity is the fear of appearing original: it is thus a lack of pride, but not necessarily a lack of originality"
posted by Shaz @ Monday, February 26, 2007
16 Comments
16 Comments:
you are dealing with so much. i have no wise words, just sending warm and fuzzies to let you know you are thought of......poet
You have truly beautiful blonde locks, my dear (-and I love that your gorgeous daughters like theirs long too :)
You whole image to me is one of warm soft loveliness... but I thought that before I had ever even SEEN a photo of you... and believe me, I will ALWAYS think that -with or without hair, or even if you take to walking around with a brown paper bag over your head :) (and please don't!).
Don't get me wrong though, I'm not taking your words lightly. This must be a horrifically hard thing to deal with, especially if you have always treasured your hair.
Remember Alison (To The Moon)?, she has been so brave and cut her treasured blonde tresses short. She did it in two stages (first shoulder, then short) to make it a little more gradual. And she looks stylish and fab.
I don't what advice to give you but I do know my opinion: you're not vain... you wouldn't have written this if you were :)
And to quote Mark Twain: "There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it".
Lovin ya Shaz,
Vxxx
I don't think this is a subject where there are really rights, wrongs, "shoulds"...I think we all have certain things about our appearance that matter more to us than other parts. If yours is your hair and you find you are probably going to temporarily lose it, then that's cause for grief and there's nothing to be ashamed of in that.
That said, I want to put forward the idea to you that if losing your hair becomes inevitable, there's a certain power in taking control of when and where and how it happens - going super short or even shaving it off before it gets to the point of coming out in big clumps. When my mom had cancer, she went through several times of losing her hair and the first time she hung onto it as long as possible, even when it started to look really bad. The other times, she'd just have it all buzzed off as soon as it started to come out because she came to realize that hanging on to it the first time had only made her feel more powerless in the long run.
But whatever you decide is right for you, Shaz, IS right. And if you need to rant, rave, cry, be pissed off about losing something that matters to you, then that's right too.
{{{{Shaz}}}}
oh shazz,
i don't think you're silly or emotional or wrong for having these feelings at all. i don't think any of us can imagine what you are going through, but i agree with deb...YOU are the one who makes the decisions with this and none of us can place any value judgment on your feelings (nor should we!).
i am sending you big hugs...
Oh hon, you have so much on your plate. I am sending good vibes and good thoughts your way, gorgeous girl.
Cxx
Hello Shaz,
So good to read your words again! With or without hair, you'll always be lovely to me. That being said, I too would be rather disconcerted if mine started falling out ... but you know love, we are a strong, warrior woman who can handle anything life throws at us.
Right now, I'm imagining you this time next year with a clean bill of health, soft locks of hair and that beautiful smile on your face.
Much love to you soul sister, Deb
***Right now, I'm imagining you this time next year with a clean bill of health, soft locks of hair and that beautiful smile on your face.***
Well I can't say it better than Deborah so I'll just second it. Imagine it for yourself too :-)
love x x x x
My love... even with a bald head you would look HOT *grin*
Really I totally agree with Deb... this time next year you will be ove all of this... doesnt make today any easier tho.
((hugs)) and LOVE LOVE LOVE
Bx
Sweet Shaz~ my personal opinion on this is actually quite strong. I do not think that you are being vain...in the least bit. My gosh, when you strive to look your best, and you are feeling as "altered" as you have been lately, it is only natural that the thought of something like this happening would scare you. There is nothing wrong with this. You want to feel as good about yourself as possible, and many times this means ensuring that your physical appearance is good. It feels great to look beautiful, put-together and snappy, especially when you are feeling less than snappy.
You will be beautiful regardless, but it is much easier for us to tell you that than it is to actually believe that. So much is swirling around you.
Perhaps some of the other steps that you are taking to care for your well being will assist with this as well, and if, god forbid, they don't, then I say go with it beautiful you! You have not been creative with your hair before? Do it now! Go a little wild! Have fun with it! Embrace the "different" you! Do not think about what other people may or may NOT (because they probably are not thinking ill at all)think. Go with whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Throw caution to the wind. :-)
Perhaps now is the time to create a new look and to bask proudly in it.
I have said it before, but will say it again. You are a beautiful individual, inside and out. You are someone to be celebrated in so many ways.
And I celebrate you...your spirit, your courage,your heart...everything.
Sending you love,
J
xoxoxoxo
i can't say it better than any of the others. my mom, when she had cancer, went straight to the barber's and got it shaved off...like deb's mama. i think there is a lot of sense in deciding when/where.
you WILL be just as gorgeous bald, sweetheart. it's your heart that makes you so.
Hm. Looks like I get to represent the male influence (thus far). :-)
Darling, with or without hair, you are still your sweet self. As JP mentioned above, this is but a temporary thing (unless you're really gonna do the Brittany Spears thing) and it can't change who you are in your heart.
If Ben is anything like me (and it really sounds like he is, at least with respect to the partner in his life), he loves you for your heart and soul. The hair may be great, but it's your spirit that draws you to him.
And you're only vain if you really think Cher's song is about you. *very big grin* ;-)
With love,
-- f
(((Shaz))), Hope all is well today. And to answer that question with what I think...No not vain at all.
I think any of us facing thinning hair loss from treatment would be feeling the way you do...
dd/sandy
You'll be right Shaz, being bald would be better than having 4 arms hanging from your stomach. Don't be worrying about something that may not happen.
Tell ya what ya do.
Send me an email and I'll give ya a call and I'll then post ya my fav bandana . DEEPPURPLE! ....Emblazed upon it!
Then we'll jump on a Harley and go cruising with those ridiculous looking mirror sunnies on.
We'll stop off at ever pub we come to and have a wee drink then cruise on home and laugh until we can't put any more wrinkles on our faces.
If it's any consulation my hair is thinning and I ain't even sick!
xxxxxxx
Whitesnake........
thanks for being so open and trusting with us blog friends! my love goes out to you.
i don't think you are vain at all. the way you look is very much about your identity and how you see yourself and want others to see you. it is difficult when those things start to change. it happens to all of us at different speeds and for different reasons. i've already got gray hair! the women in my family go gray very early...in their 20s! i was so ashamed at first...like it was difficult to go to the salon and ask them to dye it because they would see my grays!
i think short hair and no hair at all is HOT. and i'd like to echo what many others have said here, that you have a very sexy, soft, and sweet personality, and that comes across whether or not you post photos of yourself, and will continue to come across, regardless of the state of your hair.
you are in no way crazy when you say that the thought of losing your hair makes you cringe. i can understand that - even if i, personally, have not gone through it.
i can tell you, being on a different side of it, that your family and friends will not cringe. my MIL wore her bald head proudly. she didn't always wear a hat around us. but she also had a wig made before she shaved her head and before it started falling out.
it's a hard hard thing. i'm sorry you are having to deal with it. but YEA on the treatment working!!!
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