Bubbles and Dreams

Home Alone conjures images of a quiet night maybe a scented bath with bubbles candles and music. Nothing to do or think about as their are no kids no Ben the house is mine to do with what I please. Some people long for just 5 mins of peace and quiet time alone and nothing to do. I sometimes feel that way but not tonight Kyle left for Brisbane as he starts a new job Ben is working security in at Noosa (that scares the hell out of me) and the girls are in Yeppoon with my sisters and my birth mum. The silence is deafening and I miss the laughter and the hectic scenes of my Family. I should be taking advantage of the stillness enjoying the coolness of the night after the very warm days but I'm unsettled and dare I say NO I'm not bored I swear you know that word erks me I'm just displaced. I have been looking at wedding dresses and wedding stuff on line and I am apprehensive what dress what flowers what kind of ceremony now I know we want low key something maybe on the beach relaxed and casual. I am excited for the first time though about the day, setting a date, no matter that its a year from now. I am trying to picture it and I cant I am so indecisive and so is Ben hes one not to think too much about it until its closer but I want for once in my life to be organised. With this I laugh as I am so not organised as much as would love to be its not in my nature and I work really well under pressure. Planning shmaning I am so not good at it. I am not traditional in the sense of this huge Gala affair I like low key small groups and relaxed times.
Some suggestions would be great as I just don't know. My first was in a court house and all though I meant my vows I was 16 years old and really I think that says it all.

This time is different I can see myself growing old with this man no question about it. I believe God had a plan for us both and we are moving within that plan towards a life of love and happiness. I like every other girl in the world wants that one memorable day I never thought much about it but it some how now seems important we will finally be husband and wife and I'm kinda thinking its a good thing. The kids are so excited they cant wait they have been wanting this since we moved in together. I feel a little ridiculous since i was the one was never going to marry again my thoughts were that we had made a commitment to each other and we didn't need a piece of paper to clarify that and I still don't maybe its an excuse for a party lol I could go with that but I would be lieing, its something I really want to do and that's a very new feeling for me, as much as I loved Ben the whole 2nd husband thing went against my grain.

I am kinda like a giddy school girl crazy in love with the man of my dreams. Now I am sure my anonymous readers (you know who you are)will be pissing themselves laughing about now and trying to think of something to bag me about, as I talk tough but they see straight through me and know how I feel.

I have accepted that I now have 6 weeks to go not what I initially thought but I'm okay with that.

I have changed my mind and I am up for a bubble bath candles and all ;)