2007.......Friendships and Me

I have been Praying a lot lately.
I have truly been touched by so many of you gorgeous people.
No matter what you spiritual beliefs you have all Blessed me in 2006 and I am so looking forward to 2007
My faith hasn't really ever been a topic of discussion between my really old friends and me, it was something personal and I hate to admit but as a young adult I was embarrassed by it hence I kept it close. Until recently with my involvement in the church projects some of them didn't have a clue about my faith. I have had mixed reactions they knew me as a freaky kid who knew stuff and they used to Love when I could freak them out with things that know one else could do.
I wasn't raised in a religious home but I had visions from a very young age and they are as real to me as the coffee you drink first thing in the morning they have been a blessing and also a burden my whole life. It is known by most of my friends and family and is very real to those who I have touched by it.
I have no control over it and I either know or I don't.
Pregnancy's and labours are high on my burden list, as if i need to go through labour more than 4 times, but I have, morning sickness, well lets just say my sisters think its great that I take it from them, on the other hand it makes life hard for me sometimes as I don't always know if I am ill or someone close to me is.
I have visions with strangers and also with friends and family who are close to me. I see things like a movie sometimes and others I feel it and can describe the tiniest of details.
I find it hard to let go when I take on someones pain and emotions though I feel them as if they are my own.
The situations I have found myself in lately as you all know is Darlene and Mark and also poet the loss of her Dad has had a profound effect on me as I lost my Dad at 12 and that has been a huge loss with me always. She has had it tough this year as well and I am in awe of strength and how well she has coped and looked out for her momma she is such a sweetie. She is definitely in my prayers :)
My dad and I were extremely close and my mum woke me up at 5am this morning hysterical at not being able to wake my dad up, she sent me in to their room to make him get up, she said he'd wake up for me as he wouldn't leave me ever.
My Mum has never really recovered she lost herself also that day and our world and my childhood fell apart things rolled on from that moment it had a profound effect on my destiny's path. It has also allowed me to be here and now and I can deal with that.
My heart just goes out to my new found friends and I hope they know how much I care about their pain and loss, my words are never just an empty moment I mean what I say and wish I could express myself as eloquently as a lot of you do.
I have been in slow mo and unwell, sleeping most of my days away and also my nights. My new found friends are in my thoughts prayers and dreams I send you unconditional love and strength.
I have said this before but as this is a new year.
I want to thank you for all the support I have received over the last few months some of you have been very very dear to me emailing the most beautiful of words that has touched my heart so deeply. I have become friends with a lot of you and a bloggie momma to, and a soul sista with amazing individuals and I look forward to a long and rewarding year with all of you in it.
I have always been a very private person sometimes drowning in my own personal pain and insecurities this medium has allowed me to open up be honest and forge friendships I would never have found it truly is amazing.
I am still battling treatment I seem to be at war with my own body. I will have more bloods done in a week I am praying there stable. I am bruising really easily and I have lumps everywhere I didn't realise how many glands and lymph nodes we have in our bodies. I am fighting this with all that I am but I have to admit its taking its toll. I still believe all will be well but I am tired and it hurts. Ben has to suffer with me and I hate that, he is my foundation and my rock but it is taking its toll on him also. It has been about 7 weeks and I have until October this year it is such a long time but you are all helping me through and I feel all of your love Thankyou!!!!!!

You were all made all possible by Bek and I see my dear friend in 4 days I am so excited I can hardly wait.

Thank you for Sharing.
Thank you for caring.

My Heart is always open and so is my home, I mean this.
I am a woman of my word and honest is always who I am.

You Meet People who forget you
You forget people you meet
But sometimes you meet those people you cant forget
Those people are your Friends

You guys ROCK MY WORLD

Peace and Health xxx