Christmas Prep

It is Saturday here. I braved the last rushes for shopping not wanting to wait for Xmas eve the shops were full of red faced frustrated people in and out of lines dodging the runaway trolleys patiently or not so patiently waiting for that all so wanted car park to become available and kids with tears of are we done yet and just wanting the serene slumber of their beds at home away from the craziness.
Ben did really well, his patience was commendable and he still had smile for the Nana's who find him ever so sweet. (precious)
I have just finished I think, wrapping preparing and organising everything I can so when my in-laws arrive tomorrow I don't have to do too much (yeah right) wishful thinking.

My injection was yesterday and they are getting easier, my side affects are getting less and less each time, putting aside my few little sickly episodes which you know about well the eventful ones (giggle). So anyway I am coping better with treatment at this present time. (thank God)

I am so looking forward to this Christmas, my reasons are wrapped up in having all four of my babies together with me on this day for the first time in a long time.
I do miss my kids being with me all together, when did they get so big, when did they turn into independent little beings with minds of their own, when did two of them leave me.
This year has been huge for me as far as learning to let go, both my older children, so young still, but out on their own making life's journey into this world alone, making their own mistakes and forging memories and learning lessons that they will eventually pass on to their own children one day.
I miss them so much but I am also blessed to have them all with me this year healthy and happy.
The hardest part for me in having kids is letting go I hated the independent stages. I embraced and enjoyed it for them but inside I only ever wanted to do it all for them.
Feed them hold them rock them to sleep. I will never forget the countless number of people who said I was making a rod for my own back, who are they kidding? My kids were never a chore the 2am feeds were my quiet and absolute alone time I cherished every sleepless night. I could have had 12.
I tried for 6 and would of had them if I hadn't miscarried twins between 2 and 3 although 4 is enough, even if only for the financial burden, but I dreamt of so many more.

I cant wait to catch up on the progress of the orphanage. I truly am so excited my heart loves to love kids and I am bursting with the need to give that love to the babies who don't have it.
We are not financially stable we are not in the position we thought we would be but we have love and almost my health. I am sufficiently satisfied with where I am. I have new friends and old that I can embrace into 2007 and I am happy.

The two little ones will go to their dad before the new year and Ben and I will have some well earned one on one time together we do need that we have had a stressful year. But I am Happy.
That is all I need to end this event full year I hope you all can look back at 2006 and find joy in where you are this Christmas day as I have.

Love and Peace and Health to my new found friends I seriously, seriously couldn't have done it with out you all.

Merry Christmas xxx