Part 3 the phone call that changed the events

Part 3 the phone call that changed the events

I am so pissing myself laughing at the thought of what I could say here. I could be artistic and embellish but I don't have too it was so funny it could only be me and them.

I am calling one of the perpetrators Little Miss Naughty and the other Mrs Naughty there not that naughty but it’s fitting and you will see why.

This story is based on actual facts but the names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the suspects involved due to the legal cases pending. All though some minor details have been left out because I need to use these at a later date for bribing purposes.(just kidding)

The phone rang and it was Little Miss Naughty, laughing hysterically Shaz -Shaz Mrs Naughty is in jail.

What? I start laughing thinking she was having a lend of me.

Then 5 minutes later I started to believe her as she stopped laughing long enough for it to sink in. I am floored by this and tying to make sense of what was being said when she hung after saying IL ring you back... I told Ben, he was a bit tipsy and thought I was lying because Mrs Naughty isnt Naughty at all, well not really and to be fair neither is Miss Naughty but Grappa will make you do things a little out of the ordinary (Remember Italian Festival)
Oh…….. back to the phone, its ringing again, Little Miss N Laughing as she is talking to me and the police about her friends incarceration. I couldn’t get out of her if she was actually arrested nor could I work out why she was there or actually where they were. She again hangs up leaving me clueless to what’s happening. By now I’m a little perturbed and worried so I start to get ready to leave and find out what’s going on even though it’s a stab in the dark to know where to go I was going to head towards town.
Ben is having a ball with my brother and B in law, my sister's in shock saying not Mrs N, she isnt Naughty, but yes my friends Mrs N has been thrown in the lock up and Miss N, full of beer and Grappa has no idea why and neither do I.

I ring Miss N back and she says she is trying to find out what is going on with Mrs N.

I hear Mrs N in the background arguing with a constable and I hear Miss N telling her just to pay the fine and let’s go.(Miss N there is more to what I heard but that’s illegal also)
Phone hangs up again I am trying to ring both on my way out the gate.
Finally Miss N rings and says we are in a cab Mrs N is upset but okay, she will ring me back.

I am presuming they are on there way home and I walk back inside to my sisters to say I will go to Mrs N’s house instead to see if alls okay when the phone rings again.

This time Miss N says with some disillusionment and panic that Mrs N is quite distraught and she needs me to fix her cause shes broken and she doesn’t know what to do, a little dramatic? a little funny?

Maybe, but I wave goodbye again as I am finding out that Miss and Mrs are at another PUB not at home.
Hello??? Are you kidding lol I am thinking this is serious besides being at another pub Mrs N never cries she has to be very upset for that to happen so I am concerned at what has gone down.(are you keeping up?)

I am half way there when the slurring voice asks where I am because I am needed urgently then she hangs up before I can even answer. I pull up I walk in to a very quiet Bar that my dad used to drink at 40years ago so I know it well. I walk in to Miss N jumping on me wrapping her legs around my waist yelling Woo Hoo at the top of her lungs then as I peel her off I have Mrs N sobbing in my arms trying to tell me she never cries but they were very mean and Miss N should never have rang me but she was glad I was there.
We were there about an hour before I threatened the barman with a severe Shazza slap if he didn’t stop serving Sambuca shots as I think they have had enough, the fact that there were handstands on the bar, laughter tears Police fines and loud obscenities of injustice should of made him consider this earlier. DaHhhhh
Okay so we are in my truck and all we have to do is drive home an easy task? One would have thought so but Mrs N had passed out and was slipping head first toward the clutch and brake while Miss N was choking her trying to get her sat up so I could drive. Then I was grabbed from behind telling me how good a friend I was for coming. (Are you kidding?) I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.
I actually had to pull over though and get Mrs N sat up because I couldn’t change gears at this stage and I had to double belt Miss N in because I couldn’t drive with them both on my lap. We finally made it Home and I carried a passed out Mrs N inside and was trying to keep Miss N quiet while I gathered their bags and put them inside to go back to Kels house.
Okay I have done my good deed, had a great laugh at MISS and MRS N’s expense and headed for home. I then had a run in with two police myself who pulled me over wondering what I was doing driving around at 11.30 pm an hour from home. I blew in the bag to prove I hadn’t been drinking and said I was on my way home from a friends house not that I thought it was any of their business as I had done nothing wrong anyway. I was trying to ring Ben at this stage because he wanted me to pick something up for him (a treat) yes I have 5 babies. No answer so I leave it and continue on my way, I get home its freezing I’m cold tired and ready for bed BUT that didn’t happen did it.
Everyone went to bed but they locked me out WTF this is shit. I knocked rang and no one woke up I went under the house got changed and tried to lay on the old sofa down stairs with no pillow or blanket until I decided I was to old and to sick to be in 3 degrees Celsius so I went back out tried every window ad door (2 storey house) then I just bashed on the front door where I could see B in-law and Ben passed out in the lounge room I could see them through a round glass window in the door. It was cold and I had nearly given up when mum finally woke up wondering what the hell was going on. My hands were cold and sore I was tired I had no voice and wanted to kill my drunken husband for having his phone on silent and not hearing me bashing the damn door down. I went on the hunt for a nikko to write on his forehead until mum begged me to calm down and go to sleep. My B in-law was laughing in his sleep and dry humping the lounge until he copped a smack in the head and then he was quiet. Ben didn’t wake up and I finally went to sleep about 4 so needless to say it was a jam packed weekend and I am going back tomorrow oy yiy yi. I need to help eldest daughter move house and then we have a Birthday party Saturday night. I will fill you in when I get back. As you may be able to tell I am a lot better than I have been and getting stronger all the time so all is well but this weekend will be quieter.

PS: I adore both my naughty friends and Love them so much they would with out a doubt do the same for me. XXX

PPS> Grappa is EVIL

Have a great weekend all.