2008

Well my dearest friends it is 2008.

A year for hope-health –peace and prosperity.
2008 being here so quickly gave me little time to contemplate what my future holds for this year,
My positive side is dancing in anticipation of a year that could hold great things for my family and I, also that of who are my nearest and dearest.
On the 31st of December marked Ben and I having our first New Years apart from each other, all though we have quiet ones celebrating with friends we have always spent it together no matter what,
This year started off very differently my babe had to work doing security and I was going to go in and see him just before midnight to kiss in the year with my baby and then go home alone to wait for his shift to finish. As usual the best layer plans go astray. I ended up down the coast with my best mate Peter. It was one he intended spending alone; this would be his first new years with out his mum. I just didn’t want that so when I called and he said he just wanted to stay at home by himself.
I kind of figured he needed me and in a way I needed him too. His mums passing has had a great affect on our lives and I wanted to be there if he needed me and he was ecstatic and things have been going pretty well health wise. My girls are with their dad in Cairns, Danicka and Kyle had plans with friends and that’s fine but I could feel that this was a big one for him, so I forfeited my ritualistic kiss with my baby to spend that time with my oldest and dearest friend and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We sang we laughed we cried we even went to the amusement park and rode the “zipper” our all time favorite ride from when we were 9.

We had a blast. Even though the dawn came far too quickly with a New Year beginning he was the perfect person for me to do that with, Its hard to let go of people you love when they go and it has only been a few months since Kath, his mums passing.

I am glad I was there for him because it was a tough one.

Now for me I still have no computer “I know it’s been way to damn long and I am starting to get a little peeved to put it rather nicely. It’s near impossible to visit everyone and just as hard to get some words out, I have more bloods in a week or so then find out results early February. That will be the second of 3 and if that’s clear then my last test will be in April.
Now I truly believe I am cured but I still have that side to me that makes me need to consider my options if hypothetically I am not.
You know it doesn’t scare me if it hasn’t but Ben doesn’t want to discuss it because he wants to be positive, and that’s great but I would like to cover all bases and have a game plan if things don’t turn out just as we expected.
Now the question I ask first is should I just leave it and wait and see, totally put it out of my mind OR do I consider all my options now so if god forbid it doesn’t come back negative I have a back up plan worked out so that by not being cured I know what I would do.

This seems logical all though my choices are few I would like to make them now and not while I am under stress trying to choose a decision.
Doctors Choice is 1. straight back on treatment for another year that’s it no questions no stopping and no collecting $200 while passing go. It would be my best chance from his point of view.
MY CHOICES are a unlimited take a year off then try again;, don’t try again and lets go natural blah blah what to do. Liver biopsy will be a start and then we will see but I like options, even though I am indecisive I don’t like only having one choice and to be honest it was tough and I don’t know how my family would go if I had to do another year, Hypothetically my friends what would you do?:?????????