Bianca- Part 3

It had been many,many years since I seen Bianca when I returned to Brisbane with my kids. My return initially is a whole nother story. But going through my boxes I found a letter from Bianca that I thought I had lost. It got me thinking again about her being gone and whether what I was told was true. Being back after so many years had me a little unsettled as well as the break down of my marriage and many memories of my life here flooded back.
B was a good person but had an addiction that compromised what she stood for. She was devastated by what had happened to me but I forgave her even though I dont know if she knew that, it really could of happened any way Rohypnol was a huge problem for awhile and I wasn't the only girl affected by it.
I started with the phone book again to try and find her family. I didn't have a photo of her and I badly wanted one. I thought enough time had passed to be able to ask that favour and not have it be to hurtful.
I finally got an Aunt who could help, I was a little overwhelmed but she was really nice and we chatted for a moment when she asked if I knew she had passed away. I told her I had and that I was devastated by the news and at the time I tried to get a hold of someone but being in Cairns made it difficult. The conversation went a little strange when I asked for her mums number, she said it may be a little early to speak to her as she is still very upset. I was a little shocked when she said early. Now I know the death of a child is something you could never get over but it had been 10 years and I knew her mum. The aunt continued and said the funeral was beautiful but it was really hard on her husband being left with all the kids 1 month before their wedding.
I just went silent I stuttered out some jiberish not knowing what was going on.
She picked up on my shock when she asked when the last time I spoke to her was and I told her it had been many years and that I was told she had passed away, like 10 years before.
She went silent.................the conversation continued with an awe of mystery her words dropping me to my knees.
I am so sorry sweet heart Bianca only passed away 2 weeks ago. I couldn't speak I know we were talking about the same person I had confirmed that early but I couldn't comprehend what I was hearing. She went on to talk to me for an hour to fill me in on everything ten years earlier she had indeed overdosed and it was touch and go, she had been put into a rehab facility and also spent time in jail but survived and finally became clean having 3 kids to different relationships. It had been only the last 3 years she was in a stable relationship with an amazing man who became daddy to her three babes and they were planning to marry. As if the conversation couldn't become any more bizarre than that. The final blow was that she also had 4 week old twins to her new man. I just cried and cried trying to keep it together as the poor aunt was also in a terrible position. She told me to ring her fiance as he was good man and would speak to me and tell me what had happened she gave me his number and told me he lived with their kids in a suburb only 15 mins from where I was, that was just the final straw.
I hung up the phone in shock trying to absorb what I had been told. How could this be, I tried to find out, obviously not hard enough. What had happened? how could I have just given up, if I had of tried harder I may not of missed out on so many years and to know she was only up the road had me beside myself with guilt and grief. So many thoughts if I had of done this a few weeks earlier I may have been able to see her, touch her, hug her one more time. I could of told her I forgave her and that it wasn't her fault.
It took me a few days to phone Bill, it was the hardest call I had ever had to make. This strange man who I didn't know and who probably had never heard of me who just lost the love of his life and the mother of his new born twins. It was daunting to say the least but I had to know. The phone was ringing for what seemed an eternity and a soft spoken man answered the phone. I stuttered a little and told him that I was sorry to disturb him and that I had been speaking to Kate and she gave me his number. He was lovely and told me it was okay as I proceeded to tell him who I was. I explained that I was a very old friend and that I hadn't spoken to B in many years and I have just moved back to Brisbane. He asked my name and when I told him the phone went silent, I kind of felt really awkward and apologised for ringing and that I should probably leave him to it. He stopped me and said it was okay he knew who I was.........what?
You have heard of me his reply even softer. The tenderness in his voice was apparent and his willingness to speak to me surprising. He asked me what I knew, I told him the story of thinking she had been gone for many years and that I just cant believe she was still alive or only just now passed. He said that she didn't think I wanted contact with her anymore and she just wanted me to be happy in my life so she severed all ties.
The morning she died he told me that she had been well, nothing out of the ordinary when she got up at like 6am to feed the twins she turned to him and said she had a bit of a headache then collapsed. Not regaining consciousness due to a burst aneurysm in her brain. I am just beside myself at this stage trying to understand what the hell was going on. I tried to calm down and asked about her kids he told me about her 2 older boys and then her daughter and their twin boys he continued to tell me about her little girl and how she was just like B then he paused which seemed like forever and said that little shazzie her daughter was beautiful.
WHAT? what did you say.
He confirmed to say that her only daughter was named after me the best friend she ever had.
I was floored to say the least and heart broken by the time missed in our lives.
My friend was indeed gone but not when I thought and she honoured me by naming her only daughter after me.

From Tradition to Truth
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's."(Psalm 103:2-5)