Freedom Writers

I can finally recommend a movie that touched me, many of you may of heard of it and I don't usually talk about movies and say that people should watch it because there are so many different tastes among all of us but this movie is for everyone. It is inspiring thoughtful and its based on a true story that is touching and admirable.

Treatment being over has left me happy but not feeling well at all. I seem to be going through some withdrawals and I am just a bit yukky.

So with my roses on the table (from Ben "grin") a strong cup of tea and my blanket wrapped around me I settled in to watch a movie and relax.

I was a little unprepared for the gamut of emotions that welled up from deep inside me.

It touched me, it has everything a good movie should and it did its job.

I laughed, cried I became angry and relieved and in awe of this amazing woman who gave a shit and made a difference.

It bought up many discussions with my girls and I. From this we have made a conscious decision to research the true story in length and it also has opened up questions about the Holocaust and history. So the girls and I are going to make a trip to the library for some research.

If you could clone this teacher and have her in each and every school this world would be a far better place for our kids. So now I am watching it again (tears still flowing) before it goes back to the video store but be sure i will be buying this movie reading the books and diaries and getting into some projects with my girls. They both want to teach and what a fine example this woman has set for them. This is another web site to the Freedom Writers Foundation its really kool.

Now I know Patience isn't my strong suit but I just want to feel Healthy.

I haven't really felt well for the last 12 months and so knowing its over and so close is a real tease. Ben is telling me give yourself a break you've had a tough go of it and it will take time.............TIME Blah I am so over waiting but I will lol like i have a choice Hey? but anyway day by day i will regain my strength and hopefully my mind and I will be able to do the Master Cleanse like Thea did.

She had a diary of her cleanse and her tips will be invaluable to me when I start. I just cant wait to get into it and exercise pain free wake up and want to get out of bed. I am a little perturbed many things going through my friggin aching head man is it pumping to the point I am squinting one eye. I have so many damn questions about how I am feeling and no one really to ask. Are my headaches like a withdrawal thing or is it because I am now codeine dependant and the headaches are a craving of more drugs. I just don't know anymore. Ben's at work and will be every night this week and weekend and someone was killed last week doesnt help with contentment when I worry about him. I have him during the day but I am irritable and snappy and happy and sad and just well.........YUKKKKKKK

I am annoyed at myself i want to be happy grateful and positive about all this and I kinda am but I think I should feel better about it all but at the moment I am just cranky and its the not knowing what the F*#K I am supposed to feel as I have no gauge and its the same old story every ones different scenario. I am just venting I am not ungrateful and I do feel happy but lol when your head feels like its in a vice its hard to project joy. I better stop before I crack totally and go to bed and try to sleep. (Mmmm that's another thing i have been on sleeping tablets for 11 months will I not sleep when I wean off all the shit I don't want to need anything and I will really struggle with the cleanse in a few weeks with stopping those crutches I have relied on)

MMmmmmm Dreaming of the day I can kick a football go for a long walk with dog and just enjoy life again.

Enjoy your week Peace and Health To All XX