Friday, January 25, 2008

Calling all Prayers

Its been busy here.................As I have said my Bella is due to have her puppies in a week and the girls have only been home a week. Kyle is moving back home and I have one of Ben's workmates who has just started living with us. Visitors coming and going and getting ready to send the girls back to school. I had my second blood test yesterday and go to the specialist on the 6th. So things are hectic but I feel pretty started at the gym for cardio and Simon set up the weights in the shed for us all to train with which is great. So in saying all that I have missed calls that I have not yet returned emails that i just haven't got a chance to read or respond to and I am still trying to retrain my sleeping patterns from going to sleep at 4am and getting up at lunch time too not matter what time I go to bed getting up at 8am which is still not great but its a start. I am naturally nocturnal I can go 2 or more days without sleep the sun comes up and I can sleep like a baby the sun goes down and I tend to get a second wind, Ping my eyes adjust and that's the end of me and no I don't drink blood lol. The sleeping tablets do not work anymore and it is extremely frustrating.

So back to return phone calls: A life long friend of mine Neace who's first born is my God Daughter rang me this morning just as I got up at 8 I have had a few missed calls over the last 2 weeks and 2 since Tuesday. Life being busy I have not yet had a chance to return those calls, one of the reasons for that is I usually have to set aside at least an hour for when we do talk as we can reallllly talk she did not tell the girls it was important so I didnt rush.
But we finally caught each other Neacey being the person she is asked all about the girls Kyle Ben and then me also everything that's been going on and listened contently and always interested responding as normal. I finally said okay enough of us whats been going on out there (she live 2 hours away near my mum) There was silence I asked again babe whats going on I hear a quiver in her voice that made me go cold and break into a sweat of anticipation. She has had a bad year or two suffering viral encephalitis, the murder and trial of her cousin and the loss of her dad who's was the funeral in which I delivered the eulogy, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Out of a family of 5 kids they chose me as I have been a ring in to the family since I was eleven years old.
She said Oh shaz its been a bad week I could feel her choke up she said I don't know how to tell you whats been going on. I was anxious to say the least and wanted her to just spit it out, I could tell how hard it was for her so I just got up and started pacing trying to be patient. She was crying now and kept saying I just cant get that picture out of my head, she just kept saying my name as if starting the sentence over and over. I told her take a deep breath that it was okay and tried to help her talk by prompting her with names is Baily and Ethan ok (her sons) is Thera okay? is Al okay (husband) are Keeley and charlie may ok (her grand kids and my god daughters children. She said yes yes yes and the she started to cry at the name of charlie may.
My heart skipped a beat but I didn't push i allowed her to take her time gently asking her to start from the beginning. She proceeded to tell me that on Tuesday Thera and the girls came over to visit and Thera was doing her hair (hairdresser by trade) and they had just finished when neacey was in the bathroom and Thera her a thump come from the other room. She rushed in as Charlie May has just started walking so she went to see if she had tripped over there was no crying but as a mum you check all noises. She walked out yelling to Neace mum shes holding her breath. neace stopped what she was doing and said just pat her she may have given her self a fright she'll be okay. A minute passed and she still hadn't taken a breath Neacey took over (she does not deal well, she is a very emotional person) so when she tried everything and still no breathing she told Thera to ring ooo and get an ambulance Thera was screaming neace was crying and started CPR The minutes tick by as her 8 month old granddaughter turned more blue with no heart beat. She continued as she cried trying to breath life into her eldest daughters youngest child. She felt her as she described her youngest grand daughters soul slip from her lifeless body. She continued CPR while crying praying all the time aware of Thera sitting beside her on the floor begging God and her mum not to let her baby die. She didn't give up she just kept going, it has been 20 years since she did a first aid course and wasn't even sure if what she was doing was right. Charlie was limp her big blue eyes wide open, her little lips Blue but she kept going. Finally a a faint heart beat she still wasn't sure if she was breathing it had been at least 10 mins then the ambulance arrived. They immediately bagged her and she went slowly from blue to an opaque white. They rushed her to the hospital where she remained for 2 days. She is okay she is alive thanks to her brave Nana but she has a heart problem they do not know why she stopped breathing what actually happened nor if it will happen again. She has no marks or bruises they don't know if she fell from the bed or just fell over if she stopped breathing before or after, they are in the dark. This news has floored me my friend has floored me.
She didn't want to call and say it was an emergency and worry me.
WHAT????? I just cant believe it I feel so bad, I am also so proud of her and told her to never keep me out of the loop again I am never that damn busy for important things. She continued to tell me she knew I would of dropped everything and went straight out there that's why she didn't say until it was okay. That's why she just said when you get a chance call me she didnt want me to worry. I cant believe it took me this long to call back I am beating myself up for not being there for her I am not making this about me just trying to show the care my friend has in everyone else but it is killing me that I didnt call. She is not coping she is going to see a counselor today she can not get the image of her grand baby laying lifeless on her kitchen floor. The feeling of helplessness has over whelmed her. She is ringing Thera 8 or more times a day in a panic. I can only imagine what she is feeling right now. I went through a similar thing nearly loosing Kyle but this is different and Neacey is different, she is super sensitive and plays things over and over again in her mind and finds it hard to get control when she is overwhelmed with fear.
How do you comfort a friend over the phone whos life has been turned upside down, she is traumatised at what has happened and can't accept that she has saved her grand daughters life all she sees when she closes her eyes is the life drain out of her little face.

I ask that you pray for her and her family send them strength, Peace and Health.
I cant write any more i am going out there next week to be with her but I am terribly concerned.

Peace and Health xxx

10 Comments:

At 12:10 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

sending hugz and prayers, dear shazzz

i have no other words, just sending those hugz.

 
At 12:12 pm , Blogger Karen said...

That poor lady. What a terrible thing to have to experience with her own grandchild. No wonder she is so shaken up. She sounds like a very caring person to have asked after all your family and listened while you answered, all the while having that awful experience in the front of her mind.

You mustn't beat yourself up Shaz. You weren't to know by the message that it was important to ring her back. I hope she finds some peace from those images in her mind soon. Love to you too my friend and I am hoping for good results from the Specialist.

 
At 2:43 pm , Blogger Robert said...

hugs and more hugs please may Gods peace and compassion fill your friends mind and heart and remove the bad images and replace them with joyful ones of the lil one alive and well

wishing you to feel the same peace shazzie and have a very close and healing visit with your friend xx

 
At 2:47 am , Blogger Walker said...

That's terrible.
I can't begin to imagine how scared she was.
I hope the doctors find out the cause quickly and fix it.
You can't be blamingyourself for missing calls to.
You can;t be there all the time for everyone.

I'm be keeping your friends in my thoughts

 
At 11:46 am , Blogger Wanda said...

Oh the is the most terrible thing that can happen to us. A tragedy to our children for grandchildren.

So glad Nanna had the present of mind to keep doing cpr. Oh my heart goes out to the family and my prayers.

Hopefully they will be able to find the reason and treat it so it won't happen again.

Love and Hug to all
Wanda

 
At 12:48 pm , Blogger Karen said...

Happy Australia Day Shazzie!!!

 
At 5:32 am , Blogger sandy said...

Oh dear, prayers going out. So sorry to hear what they are all going through.

sandy

 
At 1:01 pm , Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Oh Shaz-that is just awful. I can't imagine how scary that must have been.

I will be praying for her and sending much love.
Hugs to you love

 
At 2:55 pm , Blogger JP (mom) said...

Sending prayers and love to little Charlie May, Theara, Neacey, all their family and to you too dear Shaz.

xx, deb

 
At 8:39 pm , Blogger Vanessa said...

my heart is in my mouth... this is any parent/grandparent/godparent (etc)'s worst nightmare.
your friend Neace was so brave and amazing.
i'm thinking of charlie may and her family and your, their dear friend... wishing and hoping everything will be ok.
Vx

 

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