Looking Back and Moving Forward

I have just spent the last hour reading my posts and comments to those thoughts from about a year ago from when I first started blogging and the lead up and on to when I first started treatment.

It was a bit of an eye opener to say the least.

Even I can say I have come a long way since then but reading those posts as well as the comments and reliving the support I received has me reflecting on the that journey and what I have learnt since then. I opened up in more ways then I ever thought possible. So much for being private and secretive. lol.

I re-lived a lot of painful memories through treatment with nothing else to do but reflect on my past present and future. I put all my feelings and memories out there for all to see and that is how they stand, still to this day. Its weird I do remember writing some of the posts but others have come as a bit of a shock.

Not in a bad way I am just shocked at myself and what I have shared things I never thought I could or would.

I don’t regret one post; I really don’t regret sharing anything at all. It has been a healing process that I myself didn’t even know I needed but when I look back it really worked for me. The thing that struck me the most was what I have gained through all of this, the release of pent up emotions and also the people that I have met.

I am truly touched by the support I have had and I am seemingly lost for words to describe how much everyone means to me and how this blog has opened me up to trust and care more about strangers and the new people who come into my life than I would of before.

My new found friends and the ones that have started this journey with me and continue on with me has given me a peace in my heart that I am truly grateful for.

I feel free to be me and not always put on a happy face. I have left behind so much guilt and shame now, I feel free to express myself more openly with a smile and a wink then I did before and to say no when I need to.

Peace and Light XXX