A Mixture of my Rambling Thoughts For Today

I have been thinking today which is always scary as i am not as articulate as I would like to be and I tend to ramble and loose track of my thoughts at the time. I do feel however that it doesn't matter what I say but how it makes me feel once I have released it, like a huge weight finally being lifted off my weary shoulders.
I find myself entangled in a sea of emotions that I find are soothing and somewhat daunting at the same time.
Its hard not to get involved in the joy and also at the desperation and raw emotions of the people who allow me into their lives on a daily basis.
I find hope, inspiration and a meaning to what just "IS" in these strangers lives.
The beauty of their words, the kindness of their spirit and the humour in the snippets of what they put on to the page heightens my awareness of how awesome each person is individually.
So many lives are touched and hopefully made better by a few simple words left by a stranger or friend which ever is the case.
An understanding of not feeling so alone in the battle of our day to day lives is always a good thing.
To learn a little more each day from what is written in ones own words about themselves is such a precious gift to give. Sometimes the words that are written then read, hit a chord so deep within ourselves, we may not of realised or had the courage to share that part of our selves with others.
So reading the same from others releases the burden of our own feelings of loneliness. The thought that we are alone in our experiences or thoughts can be very scary especially if you feel there is no one to share this with.
To feel connected even in silence can help mend wounds of our own being with out ever having to admit to it out aloud if we cant bring ourselves to do so.
Some people are so much stronger in certain areas then others and have no problem sharing, but some may feel totally overwhelmed by the same or similar situation.
I don't think this makes anybodies feelings less invasive or hurtful any harder or easier, it just means some can share and accept this easier than others. That is what this does for me and what I love about everything that people from different background and cultures do for me also.
I can relate to some and empathise with others. I learn so much about myself and all of you at the same time .
I get lost in their lives and feel their involvement in mine. I really feel blessed by this.
There are things that I have written and hidden due to not wanting feelings of judgement by others. I have also sometimes felt like I had to say something good even if I wasn't quite feeling that easy with it at the time. I don't feel as if I was being dishonest. I just wanted to feel that way so that's what I projected and that works for me. (mind over matter kind of thing) because some days I feel like I having nothing left at all. Imagine putting it out there day after day oh whow is me, I believe that I would not move forward from that somehow trapping me by what I was saying to myself.
I have allowed myself such freedom to express my true feelings here, more than I ever have before. I feel so much lighter, my heart doesn't feel like a burden to my soul quite as much as it had.
My verbal admissions out loud have always been difficult for me. I was of the opinion that if i said it out loud and my brain hears it then I would have to admit that it was real and I haven't always wanted to admit to my own reality. So the verbal me used to say, I'm good its fine don't worry everything is okay, it doesn't bother me at all. I used to lie about my feelings and worst of all I would lie to myself and that didn't get me anywhere. Strangely enough I wouldn't lie to anyone else as I did to me.
So I am proud to say I am now honest with me. I allow myself to hurt, feel and Heal. I don't think I have to be perfect or always happy and okay.
This is me being better to myself than I ever have before. I have always been a very very good friend to others ignoring the most important person in my life ME and now I believe I am important.
Because of this I think have so much more to give others because of the kindness I have learnt to show myself. I think I still aim to please a little and I am still working on saying No if its to my own detriment but it's a start and life is full of learning and curve balls so I will continue to try.
This world has helped me put into practice the advice I have always given to those I love.
I am learning to treat myself with the same respect that I have always tried to show others.
I want all of you to know who reads this that If you haven't already, start taking the advice that you would give your nearest and dearest. Most of you do I hope. I am just a slower learner but this is my insight into me. Today anyway.