Ramblings and Questions and no right answers.....

Intuition: noun
1. Intuitive cognition: feeling, hunch, idea, impression, suspicion.
2. The power to discern the true nature of a person or situation: insight, instinct, intuitiveness, penetration, sixth sense.

Do you trust your intuition?
Do you have good intuition?
Do you follow it?

I am having trouble trying to put my thoughts into words as they are curdled in my head (Mmm drugs). Essentially, I have always thought that I have good intuition. I trust my initial feelings about people and accept if my opinion is wrong; however, it has usually been pretty spot on.
I have been questioning though whether I really follow my rules of thought process or sometimes I follow through because I think it is expected of me.
I don’t always deal with confrontation in a way that is beneficial to me. I am the first to stand up for injustices against anyone or anything other than myself. In addition, I have been known in my younger days to literally fight for friends and family. In the same context, I have allowed myself to be used and taken for a ride and walked over on more than one occasion.
I am trying to change that and tell myself I am worth standing up for. Self-respect, self-preservation and self-destruction have been an intermingled alliance and argument that has challenged me through my life. I cannot quite figure out if I actually followed my intuition or went against it and am I only seeing this in hindsight. I do think I knew most times which way to go but was too afraid to say in case I was wrong and I hurt some one's feelings. I always try to find the good so I over look my intuition to give the benefit of the doubt. It would be nice to have enough faith in my self to go with my gut and not question myself to the point of distraction and so therefore, I make the wrong decision based on wanting to think positive or trying to find the good in everyone. I have strength and I have faith in myself when it comes to not giving up pushing me to the limit and being pretty darn tough. Why can’t I stand up for my rights unless someone is in my face? Unless there is, defensiveness and abuse I tend to not to stand up for me even if I know I am right. Let us just say I go with let sleeping dogs lie. All though if the tables were turned, I would be the first to step up in defence of someone I care about with full force and guns blazing. I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this and I am sure it all sounds like a lot of shit and I do not have any real point to it all except that I have to decide to let something go or grow some balls and tackle it head on. New wounds have been opened by a letter from the Crematorium where my Uncles ashes are. I have had very vivid dreams about his request for me to pursue a copy of his will from the Bitch(I am not up for this after what she did), I just do not think I am ready to trust my intuition and just do it though.
Am I questioning what I know to be true?
Is it because I want it to be or is it because I know it is.
My latest dilemma, do I let sleeping dogs lie or do I bite the bullet and get a copy of his will.
It is either going to say I am in it like he said I was and she is trying to hide that.
Or I am not in it and I am going to make a fool of myself and she will only be all the more smug. Its not about the money there was none but it is about what he wanted.

What would you do? There is no right answer to this question but its hard to debate this in my head from all prospectives as I only have the one painful memory.

I also have B who wants to rip her heart out for hurting me (Bless him, giggle)

And would this be a bad time to get another Puppy????? (I must be loosing it)

My Bella is now 15months old a needs a friend, Ben thinks I am replacing missing my kids and the nuturing the lonely soul in me with animals.
Maybe hes right but then again there really cute and everyones on a roll with getting a new friend((Bee)) its your fault :) or thats my excuse.
Bens not so convinced but they are so cute. I love staffys

I had to leave on a funny not its not all that bad just another niggle I don't need, so much for stress reduction guys.

Peace and Health To You All XXX