Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay to be honest I am having a hard time with a couple of the connections I have made through Blogging. This is not what you may initially think. Its not that I have come across nasty people who criticize is it that I haven’t found anyone who understands what I am about.
In fact it is actually the complete opposite. I have been really blessed to have made some amazing connections with most of the regular people that I interact with.
My problem is that I can speak on the phone I can email I can laugh I can share my feelings and thoughts. I can send little gifts or cards and even receive some heartfelt joy through this medium.
The one thing I can’t do and that is making feel so depressed is that I can't hold the hand or squeeze the waist of someone whom I grown to love as part of my family.
I can’t ever imagine not having her in my life but I can’t touch her when she needs me I can’t call in when all she needs is to collapse in my arms and just have a big snuffling and messy snotty cry.
I can’t tidy up for her when she is pain and I can’t cook something super yummy for us to share when we are both miserable (totally fattening and naughty)
I can’t pick her up and go to the theatre and laugh at the comedy we have chosen to cheer us up and I just can’t look into her eyes and know how she feels without her having to say a word or to just look back with a complete understanding without a word being uttered form her lips.
I find this so frustrating and so painful today that the tears are just flowing. How lucky I have been in my life to have very amazing friends I don’t accept a lot of people into my life as I have trust issues but once your in with me your in and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.
When I love you I feel for you and with you, sometimes with an intensity that takes my breath away. Physically I can share your pain and emotionally my heart breaks whenever you’re is.
I am unsure where I am going with this I am just finding this half way around the world thing really hard. I am a patient person but I also have no patience for those I care about feeling helpless and lonely and hurt in certain situations. I hate not being able to show my support for them in the way I would like.
Today I don’t care about my last day in Brisbane or what is going on with me. Today I am consumed with the pain of a friend whom I can’t hold in my arms and comfort. How do others cope with this side of our blogging world?
How did I do it when there was distance between my friends or family who needed me before? Well I jumped on a damn plane and went to them or I drove for 2 days straight to be by their side, either way I found a way and I did it. Now I can’t........ I don’t have $2500 to jump on a plane to comfort my friend on the other side of the world, nor do I have the Health situation to be able to do that.
So what the hell do I do? how do I deal with this without the pain?
My migraines are debilitating when they hit and crying makes them unbearable.
But my tears are flowing and my heart is breaking for a friend whom I have never met in the physical sense (but will) how do I deal with the here and now until then?
I need some advice I need for someone to tell me how they do it.
PS: My little sister has a blog I helped set it up on the weekend she is lonely since her Hubby is working away. I thought this might help her vent and make some connections. Check her out!
posted by Shaz @ Tuesday, May 22, 2007
15 Comments
15 Comments:
When you have a connection with someone you don't need to be there to physically to hold them or hug them.
I have many friends around the world I share much with but there are a few I bleed with when they bleed and wish I was there to be with them when they need me but I can't.
You give what you can and sometimes sitting on the phone talking is the same as being there hoolding hands.
With some of my friends we make a date to sit down with the same type of wine at the same time to drink while we talk on the phone or msn.
Maybe if there is someone close to you , you could mail each other a stuffed toy you could curl up with when you talk or when you want to hug each other.
You don' need to be right there to reach out and touch someone you are close to, just be there.
Have a nice day
Ah love, we've just gotten off the phone and having chatted about this I still don't have any easy answers ... other than we just figure it out. It's not fuckin' easy, but we just have to bear throug the circumstances and know (KNOW!) that one day money and health will not be a consideration for either of us. You are my sweet, dear soul sistah and I couldn't have been born to another sister I hold so close. Lots of love, deb
Don't underestimate the power of words to bring you close and to bring comfort. Those of us who blog so regularly, and who have made these wonderful connections based on the words we have shared, we know the power of writing to heal ourselves and others.
Your writing especially has such a warm and personal feeling - I can hear your distinct voice in the few words of the comments you leave me.
I know its not the same as physical presence or hug, but its a wonderful gift and a powerful support all the same.
BTW, I've been enjoying catching up on your Brisbane trip. Great stories!
I try my hardest to send BIG love across the miles with my mind. And I reach out on the tele so that at least I'm there with my voice and heart and soul pouring over the lines.....but yes, I'm with you on wishing so much for those real-time connections. Blogging has brought so many wonderful people into our lives, my heart breaks though for the inability to have them in my day-to-day life or even close by. And then I find myself lamenting that I'm not making these types of connections in my real life - sigh.
I think I've given no advice, sorry about that.
Sister your words,thoughts,phone calls and love does all of what you are struggling with you don't need to be face to face with the person you are trying to be there for just your kind,loving words are enough for anyone that knows you because you mean everything you say from the bottom of your beautiful big heart of yours love you sista xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
shaz - i can understand some of the frustration. i've made many special connections online - so many of them way way way far away. i've been very fortunate to have been able to meet some of them. but you're right, when they are in pain, all i have are my words. sometimes they don't seem enough. but having been the recipient of some of those words, i can tell you that they really do help.
Everyone who has commented before me has had wonderful advice. There's nothing I could say except I understand..I really do.
(hugs)
Oh Shaz: You don't know how much love and devotion you send over the blog. But my heart breaks too, and I live in the same town with a dear dear friend who is hurting, and in pain every day, and even being close is a helpless feeling, never knowing just what can be done or not done. I struggle for answers and I can't find them near or far. We each do what we can. And I know for a fact, you are a wonderful support to so many.
You feel others pain so deeply because you live with it daily too. This is truly the downside of blogging .....being so far away.
I love you Shaz.
Shaz ~*~ I must tell you that connections are just that...a joining of hearts that get tied together...
and just like the warmth that one body feels next to the other body on a cold winers night, so too, do the hearts that are tied...
tied with a three strand cord that cannot be broken.
We will be together some day, some how...what a day that will be and even then, the tears, hugs and laughter, will not seem enough!!!!
I am loving you sweet girl
xoxoxox Darlene
Shaz, I agree with what everyone above me has already said. Don't you realise how much your words comfort people? You have been a god send to me on many occasions just by taking the time to comment and giving me your warm cyber hugs. I know its not the same as a real hug but its all we've got.
The unbelievable love and support I received for my post about my past has been overwhelming and truly humbling. The comfort I got just from other bloggers can never be put into words and brought me to tears of gratitude on more than one occasion. At least no-one can see the mascara running down your face, your puffy red eyes and your snotty nose when you're on line. I'm so unattractive when I cry. Some people look endearing when they cry, but trust me, I'm not one of them. Where the hell was I? Sorry, I got off track....lol.
Knowing you care about your friend would make the world of difference Shaz. You are the best and I love ya heaps.
andn ow it is i who would like to be able to cross the room and comfort you and help you cope. man, i so understand this. these connections i have made through the world of blogging and the internet are very important to me. i have been a bad blogger,,,,and i have been on vacation,,,,presently i am stuffed up with what might be a cold or allergies keeping me awake and affording me the time to hop. so glad i did. you are such a deep and caring person. i like walker's idea of stuffed toy to cuddle when you talk on the phone. the next best thing to the real thing, perhaps. take care of yourself, dear shazz, sending lots of love and hugs across the pond and then some.
((((((HUGS))))))))
It's all i've got.
I can't say anything more than what everyone else has.
We love you Shaz.
I understand your frustration dear one; unfortunately, I do not have words of wisdom beyond to say that your friends know that you love them and would do anything for them...of this I am certain. One can not know you without knowing what a huge and beautiful heart you have.
That being said, it does not make the geographic barrier less. I try to embrace the fact that I have been blessed to add this wonderful group of people into my life, regardless of where they are...and some days that does work.
be kind to yourself honey...you are loved and we know you love....there never any doubt about that
sending you hugs and love xoxoxo
Someone described bloggers as a community and I believe that is true. It doesn't have to be physical, just to know that there are people out there who share a kind word, a kind thought, and send a hug can help enormously. Be kind to yourself :-)
I wish I had an answer but I fear there is none. I feel I have no advice to give that has not been given.
I do wish to make certain I add you add so much each time you visit someone---you add so much----your words are gifts than no one can buy---they come from you from your heart and are very personal to the person you speak to---and that my friend is so special.
You are a gift and each time you visit that is a very special gift---so please be kind to yourself recognize how special you are and how much we love you.
Until the next time I visit, know you are in my thoughts special lady.
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