Tired and Restricted

Well I have been up for nearly 24hours I am not sleeping I am off everything that includes sleeping tablets and well lets say I am struggling with insomnia. I have always had a few problems with sleeping but had it under control before treatment since then it’s hard and it’s driving me crazy I can see why they use sleep deprivation for torture. I am not actually tired my body is but it’s not exhausted so it’s still working (reluctantly I must admit) but seriously I am not even yawning. Whets the go with that? Now I know I should be using this time productively I could clean and tidy, rearrange the house mow the lawn put my time to good use. THAT would be too easy instead I walk around feeling lost looking at all the things I could be doing and then all the things I should be doing but instead I just look and contemplate and do nothing. I know I should I know I could but BLaHHHH I am not.
So any way now that I have that off my chest I want to talk to the girls about my chest lol you’ll all know what I am talking about here?
Since Simon moved in with us my routine has changed I can’t be as free as I usually am. I am restricted in more ways then one.
I can’t say catches catch can;
Translation: Mums not cooking help your self open a can of what ever I am having the night off.
Now there a few reasons I can’t do that 1 he's paying for food and I do the shopping and the cooking. He doesn’t know my kitchen and I would hate for him to feel as though he couldn’t cook something for himself in case I was going to use it for something else and I would hate for him to have to go buy take away when has already chipping in for food.
I can’t walk around naked for obvious reasons ;)
But the killer for me is MY BRA I can not and will not do as I usually do and just reef that restrictive thang off and throw across the room when I walk in the door as I usually do.
Now would that be different If my boobs were as they were pre babies and breast feeding when I could wear strapless dresses and they were right where they always were?
If they didn’t say hello to my belly button every time I unclip and fling.
Maybe my kids would have benefited just as much from formula as they did breast feeding for 6 years between them.
Well all maybes but that doesn’t help me now………My bra is my friend it keeps me balanced and proportioned. It keeps them from blackening my eyes it keeps them from looking south on a permanent basis.
It is a good thing………….Why would a woman burn her bra?
Don’t get me wrong I love taken it off I love what it does I love the reason why it was invented it has its purpose, my problem is when my pups want out they damn well want out but NUP not with another man in the house, it just soooooo can not happen, will not happen, scary if that happened.
I know I am kind of safe up until about lunch time then I HAVE to find it and use it.
He works nights like Ben and sleeps till lunch so when that time comes I jump. What the hell would I do if he walked now? Shit my self and freak out run up stairs like a chook with his head cut off. But at the moment I am chilled I know he went to sleep about 5am so I do have a little time but I am still anxious. Sad isnt it I have so much I could be doing, many things I should be doing but I am writing about my BRA and my damn Boobs.
That’s it I have officially lost it I am going.