Irony and Facing Your Fears
Irony - incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs;
I had decided that I was going to avoid my home town for a while after the news that the man I have avoided for so many years was there. I knew I would have to go out there soon but I was going to leave it untill I could get my head around it. My decision on not facing my fears was short lived after speaking to mum on Sunday night. She sounded terrible, the sore back she had 2 weeks ago had escalated into me making a mad dash in the middle of the night out to her and getting her to a hospital. My mum turns 70 on St Patricks Day in just over a week but she he hadn't let on at how bad she was or that she has been sitting in her lounge chair for the past fortnight not eating and in excruciating pain unable to go to bed.
The look of relief on mums face to see me at 1am was heart breaking. She has always been an independent woman and asks nothing of any one. I am very angry that she let it go so long and that my surprise vist on a hunch found her in that condition.
She was admitted to hospital on Monday and is still there. I have come home for the night to try and organise my kids and get some things in order before I make the three hour trek back to be with her. This has put an urgency on my buying her house and getting it up to scratch for her to come home. I will be doing a lot of driving for a while and trying to divivide my time between her and my family.
My first night alone in my mums house the home I grew up in was awful. I haven't stayed in that house more then a dozen times in over 20 years and never once since I was 14 alone. It was daunting but empowering. I spent 3 nights there while mums been in hospital and i have overcome my fears and association of what happened about the house I grew up in and the same house my dad died in.
I am tired and stressed over what to do next and how to divide my time between my family and my mum but I will get there.
I just find it Ironic that I was left with no choice but to go to the last place in the world I wanted to be.
I hope all is well in your part of our beautiful world and get to everyone as soon as I can.
Peace and Health To All XXXX
posted by Shaz @ Thursday, March 06, 2008
11 Comments
11 Comments:
haha，every happy for you ^_^
Hey anonymous have some balls and leave your name. My email is there also if you have any thing else to say. All I can say is F#*K YOU
Shaz, you are simply AMAZING! I'm so proud of you for overcoming your fears like that. And for doing it all on your own. Yes, there is great irony in how the sequence of events brought you exactly where you didn't want to go... but because you wanted to do THE RIGHT THING, you went. You totally rock.
Heaps of love,
Vx
p.s. piss off anonymous!
Our inner strength always seems to come to the fore when our backs are against the wall. I don't think I know anyone as strong as you Shaz and you will get through this like you have all the other difficult things in your life.
I'm with Vanessa, you totally rock girl and that is a beautiful pic of you and your mum. Don't forget to take care of YOU too.
I so admire your strength and courage. I don't know what else to say. Hope you get things sorted for you and your Mum - and don't forget to look after yourself too (I have learnt this lesson the hard way).
Isn't it amazing how our steps are guided even when we don't want them to be! You mum looks so sweet, I just want to hug her.
And being able to face those old fears in that house ~~ you are a strong woman with a deep faith and this is going to end of being a "breaking free" and freedom in your spirit.
Love you tons girlfriend, and will keep you in my prayers often as you drive back and forth and make hard decisions!!
Wanda LOL:)
BTW that is a beautiful picture of you too Shaz ---I want to hug you too. :)
Hey there! I just wrote a piece on destiny.....and have been thinking about how much of our journey is chosen and how much of it happens because of fate..... I read a quote while I was writing it that came back to me while reading about the turn of events in your life Shaz......
It had to do with the fact that we often learn the most and grow the most on the road we try to avoid the most! it makes me believe that God has a wicked sense of humour!
It's a huge struggle and juggle to be trying to help and cope with aging parents as well as our own young broods. If anyone can do it, it's YOU beautiful strong lady.
take care........and keep us posted when you can.
my comment got lost.. disappeared....!! So sorry Shaz, I did read and think and thought I had posted it...
Sending love and thoughts and know thta you will somehow manage this.
Thank you for your commetns too...
take care, remeber to look after you - it's so esy to overlook ourselves when we throw ourselves into caring for someone else.
xx Katie, xx
so sorry Im late here shazzie WOW DOUBLE WOW having to go where you most didnt want to and then face several fears as well as deal with so much stress??? You are simply incredible my delightful aussie lady!!! Here's a toast to you continuing on an ever upward path glittered with grandeur and endless dreams you dare to take on!!! Lots of love sweetest shazzie!!
It's time you conquered your fear because there are much more powerful things out there that need your stregth than having some asswipe from the past hold you back.
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