All my News..........Dare to Dream

I am so Busy................................ I want to be here again at this picture I took at Myora springs last year, on the boat and enjoying the sea breezes and Ben's mum and dads company. So much is going on I am excited worried stressed and over whelmed at all that is happening.

I have so much going on life is great, being well is so awesome I am nearly back to normal.

If I ever was giggle I am spring cleaning and getting more organised in my life.

Today was awful though I feel so bad about what has happened with my youngest babe.

2 weeks ago she fell over at school she had some big bruises a few scrapes and she had a sore foot.

The bruises faded and the scrapes healed but her foot was still sore Ish did a bit of complaining but I figured it would get better she may have twisted it quite badly.

To cut a long story short I finally had it checked out and it seems my poor baby has to fractures in her foot and she is now in a half cast and on crutches i cant believe how long I waited to take her to the doctor i feel so awful. I feel as though I have been so neglectful and that is not like me. We told her to put concrete on her cereal and harden up. How bad is that, so much for my sooky babe I know I will listen a lot more in future and not think she is just whingeing.

I went out to seem my mumma and she is in a lot of pain with her back and the ideas we had for the house and her have changed. She was so sad and very worried about all the plans we had and I couldn't stand to see her so sad and no she was hiding it so well trusting me completely with what I thought was best even though she didn't really want to leave.

So.......... I am still buying the house and I am still going to renovate it but I am not going to sell it. I am keeping my mum in her home. Its a huge under taking and its going to be hard financially as I will be paying off the house and receiving no rent from her and I don't even have my own house again yet but it is a good investment long term.

I just want her to be safe and happy and have some money in the bank to enjoy herself a little she has struggled financially and I bought her two new Bras the other day her first new ones since the last ones I bought 4 years ago and she was just so happy.

It hurts me to see her struggle she has no hot water and the stairs are about to fall off the old place, so I will make it safe and beautiful again she deserves more than she has and I have to do this. The property will rise in value and my mum gets to live out her days with money a nice newly renovated house that she loves stress free.

My dad died in that house and I just cant help but know she wants to die there as well. I am not trying to be morbid but staying there will make her happy.

I went to stay with my Neacey as well, my god daughter came to stay and her beautiful babies.

It was great to spend some time with them all as I miss them a lot.

She is a wonderful friend to me and has been for about 25 years so my news is some where in here and I hope you approve of what we are thinking about. PHeww it is a big one so brace yourself....lol

As you know I had cancer when I was 25 and had a hysterectomy hence no more babies. Ben has no children and loves our family unconditionally, he is the dad in my kids life and he loves them dearly and they love him just as much in return.

I have always wanted more kids I would of had at least 6 if I hadn't of gotten sick.

Ben would really love a baby of his own and that's the one thing I cant give him. In saying that I still have my ovaries and there for have eggs just not the oven to cook them so to speak SOoooooooooo my beautiful girlfriend has offered to be a surrogate mumma for us.

Now we are seriously considering this and we are both very excited about the prospects of having our own baby, to say it would complete our already loving family is an understatement. Now I don't want to get too excited because there are so many factors involved in all of this and it may not happen but we are going to pursue the idea very seriously. I cant take the smile off my face and the feeling of love for something that may never be is still amazing.

When my test results come back clear (POSITIVE THINKING GUYS) it is going to be a mission with doctors and what not to see how feasible this whole thing is. Neacey has to be healthy and I have to be healthy and it all has to be worked out.

At the moment its a dream, one that we don't take lightly and we discussed the prospect of it not happening and decided that we will be over joyed if it does but content with what we have if it doesn't. I am just so elated at the thought of being a mum again and the kids are really excited as well. I thought that was all over for me and it used to really break my heart as its what I love, it was my chosen career so to speak ;) and I am not getting any younger.

My two eldest kids gave me and Ben the biggest compliment anyone could ever hope for in telling me that any kid would be very lucky to have us as parents and that made me cry. SOooooooooooo there it is.............. number 5 may just well become a reality.

I hope I am not jinxing myself with all of this but I cant help but DARE TO DREAM

I think that's it and I am sure that's enough for now lol so I will leave you to ponder all of that and I will be back to tell you about my beautiful Puppies soon.

Peace and Health XXXX