SPECIALIST DAY.......The tears are Flowing

Well what do I do ?????????????????????

CRY;SHOUT;KICK SCREAM;LAUGH;DANCE;

Or all of the above. This is the question I ponder tonight. I have a gamut of emotions right now my head is spinning.
This time last year was horrendous to say the least and reading back the tears and emotional memories flood over me like a high tide.This is what I was feeling this time last year.

Edit; I kind of feel like a mushroom at the moment, kept in the dark and surrounded by shit. I cant remember what the "they" say but you get the picture.
My head is heavy with another migraine that I just cant shake and my body is twitching in pain. I am so over being sick today, my chest hurts and my head nearly explodes when I cough.
The infection is in my chest up my nose down my throat on my damn ass and leg, I am already on antibiotics but I am not getting all that much better at the moment. I spent the day in bed sleeping and trying to pray and focus on feeling better. I had a pain in my liver that dropped me to my knees and I am not sure why. (it is gone now)
Is it treatment? is it the drugs that I take to counteract the side effects or is it something else?
I don't run to the doctor willy nilly and I rarely go unless I know whats wrong with me because I don't trust them usually, some are great, others not so good, so I try to be aware of whats going on first.
As far as I can tell this is part of the process, my white cell count is leaving me open to infection and that's what I have. I just don't want to have get to the point where I am in Hospital as I will end up worse. I feel infection is a huge problem in Hospitals even in quarantine so I want to avoid it if possible. I refuse to dose reduce unless its a matter of life and death and it wont come to that so I don't want to sound too over dramatic.
I will not venture out too much except when I have too, coming into winter here brings with it colds and flu's that I cant afford to catch anything.
So much for not having a whinge hey?
Well anyway I wont do it tomorrow. I will fill you in on my trip to Brisbane and talk about whats coming up in the next few weeks as I am pretty busy (so I have to be well)
Peace and Health To All XXXX

So there you have it not a good day back then but today is different.
All of my days lately are just getting bettter and better.
Today I feel good, my skin is glowing and my chest is clear, I have no migraines, my hair is growing, my mind is clearing and I don't cringe when I roll over in bed and I can plan days even weeks in advance.
Now I know that sounds mundane but for me I cherish every little thing I can do and I thank God daily for this.

Well I am getting to the reason why I am writing all of this it is probably because as you know my specialist appointment for my final results was today. Ben and I went to the appointment with little reservation we were sure I was going to be fine and as it turns out my friends I am.

I AM CURED

I AM CURED

I AM CURED

My friends I am cured, I am so Happy I could bust.

I am just so emotional right now I can hardly breath.

All my Prayers were answered with the big smile on my doctors face and those words that told me that the last 12 months were worth it, all the pain, all the emotions and all the tears were worth it my friends.

I have to say a huge Thankyou for all your encouragment and support you were all so good to me i have been Blessed with so much and I just can't stop smiling or crying for that matter. So my friends that part of my journey is over I have conquered another life threatening illness and I am feeling so grateful for everyday of my new healthy life.