Bless the sunrise

I'm having an off day today I'm in a lot of pain. I was awake early this morning still laying in bed thinking of what I want to do today. I hadn't tried to get up yet (smile)I want to de-clutter and spring clean in anticipation of starting treatment, my mind is willing, my soul is ready. But my body reluctant. I started at my toes they wiggle freely, kewl that's a start, I bend my knees and yes they rise. I try to sit up woops not moving my arms stretch only half way to the sky then fall at my side my back aches my neck hurts but..... my mind is willing my soul is ready, okay I cringe I bite my lip I stand up and wipe the tears from my cheeks. I wash my face, I brush my teeth and smile through foggy eyes at the person standing before me. Today I will push the boundaries. I will accomplish something no matter how small. Well....... I tell myself to take my time its alright to be slow, I have all day. I'm my own boss respect your body I tell myself. I take no pain relief (yet) I need to know where I'm at. If I push to hard Il pay in the long term. I have the rest of the week yet and my babies to respect. Boundaries have been put upon me (not by choice) But either way there boundaries I have to respect. I choose to push myself, I choose to smile, I choose how much I push my body. I choose not to quit. I have posted this so you may question your choices. I want people to honour themselves. Appreciate their Health. Push beyond what your head tells you and go with your Heart. Listen intently to those whispered words that tell you your worth it. You need to hear your heart to appreciate how you should love and honour yourself first. Then what ever twits and turns are thrown at you, you'll be able to choose to cope and choose the path that works for you. Acceptance is difficult. Giving up not an option. Listening to yourself a necessity. Loving yourself a must.
Im happy with what Ive done and I know thats enough for today.
Now I will allow myself something to help my pain not to much though.
I wont be numbed. But enough to greet my children after school with a hug and a smile (My secret still a secret my pain still my own)
My children left with no worries about me. (for today anyway)
So today I thank god for my motivation.
I thank my sweet Bek for her smile and conversation. (I Love You Mate)
And I also thank darlene for her Prayers and Blessings. (right back at you Honey)

To my Darling Ben I Love You and appreciate You more than I can always say or show.

Heart You The Most!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!