Part 1- Bianca

Its funny how you wake up one morning and start off on your normal routine of getting up brushing your teeth making a cuppa thanking god that today you can even get of bed, then the strangest of memories pops into your head. This happened today and it rolled on to a bombardment of visual memories some good, some that just freaked me out and had me shaking my head in dismay wondering how in the hell I survived such times.
An angel on my side? the thought of a pre-determined destiny that just caught me short of taking my life so I was around to tell the tale today.
I am not a writer by most peoples definitions I have never studied and I haven't read as much as should of or would of liked. I have never had the creative need to write poetry or stories that overtake some people nor was I inspired to use amazing words that jump out to some one who reads them. Until I started blogging I wrote for myself or to get a point across to someone close to me and that hasn't changed, I just write what I am thinking and I think my lack of vocabulary shows but my honesty and feelings seem to jump out and sometimes strike a chord and I must admit I like that.
Poetry was always scribbled down in a book or what ever I could find just to release my pain or my happiness then I would tear it up so it no one ever knew mw or my secrets to intimatly.
I had an English teacher at school who was my friend, my teacher and my football coach, he was a tough teacher but I respected him(usually because my punishment for not doing my work was no sport) I think about him now, what would of happened had I not been so rebellious and actually handed in the words that I so frequently wrote down for my eyes only.
Maybe I would have a lot of inspirational words instead of just thoughts and odd memories to share in my new found release. Sharing seems to lessen the burdens of my past and I appreciate those who stop by to share.

Getting off track hough my thoughts this morning turned towards an very old friend of mine that I was extremely close to and I do think about her often and the experiences we shared when I was just 15 years old. She was 19 at the time and I looked up to her as one of those beautiful people that you just see float around a light up a room, she was gorgeous and bubbly with a great sense of fashion and I strived to be as happy as she came across. It wasn't until we got to know each other really well that I found ot she had on a huge facade for people just like me and in many ways we were very much alike and we bonded through unspoken words.
Maybe that was what drew me to her, maybe we became so close because we were both very lonely and displaced just looking for something real outside of the smoke screen of having it all together like the one that we both became so well at portraying.
I was working in night clubs then just in bars and night clubs, before finishing school and not being allowed back for my last 2 senior years (another story) I had just moved back to my Nana's out of my own flat after being robbed of everything I had and met a man who introduced me to a club in the city. We met at a paddock where I kept my horse, he was my only true confident at the time and I spent every day with him riding all through the bush, swimming in the river and just hanging out I even slept in the paddock under the stars sometimes. I went to school when I felt like it.
Tony had just moved his horses their and it was raining this day. I had taken off my jeans and shirt off and was riding in my bikinis as I needed something dry to hitchhike home in. Their was a big straight that I used to gallop up full speed form the bottom as our last run for the day and with out a saddle and just a rope halter that I put together my horse sometimes would shy if there was something new in our way. Back then I spent a lot of time off him more than on until I could afford a bridle. Anyway we headed for the straight as the rain poured down towards the gate at the top where I knew either way he had to stop lol. We were running full pelt when I got to the top to see a new horse float and 2 new horses and 2 men I'd ever never seen, by the time I spotted them it was too late and my horse shit himself and tried to stop way before I was ready and we both slid through the mud, him in one direction and me around his neck I couldn't hang on any longer and off I went face first into the mud, arms and legs every where right in front of 2 strangers. I was fairly shy then unless I was drunk and so embarrassed that I had no control of my horse in front of new people. I was trying to get the mud out of my eyes when I was being nudged by my horse who was almost laughing at my situation as he did, when I felt myself being lifted into somebodies arms. Then I found myself quickly dropped on my ass and a man shriek in pain. My horse didn't like strangers hated men and was very protective of me kinda like a pit bull. He bit this man on the shoulder for touching me and it gave him such a fright he dropped me damn quickly then my horse stood over the top of me nudging him out of the way. It was pretty funny when I finally cleared my eyes and got up. Luckily The guy was not too perturbed although rather sore and we started talking about the paddock and trail rides I knew that were good and he asked if I would take them on a few just to show them the area. I agreed and instead of hitchhiking to my horse everyday he would pick me up and we would ride and hang out with the horses during the day it was fun to have someone else to talk to. After a few weeks he asked me how old I was and not wanting to spoil things I lied and told him I was 19 in reality, I was only 14 but I did look a lot older. He asked if he could take me to dinner and a show and I agreed I had never heard of the place where we were going but I was game.
We had dinner and then went to the city where he introduced to a couple of girls outside the club and said I should sit with them during the show because he was in it. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I walked into all these hot guys parading around in g strings and bow ties serving drinks to a bunch of ga ga women ranging in age of 18 to 80. My jaw dropped even further when the show began and my new friend came out in a ninja outfit wielding samurai swords and nun chucks stripping down to a cowboy outfit and then to just a cape. Anyway I became a regular there on ladies nights and men's nights and that is where I met Bianca she knew the DJ and so did I so we used to sit with him and help him choose the music we wanted to hear and dance too.

Our whirlwind friendship began from there in a strip club when I was only 14 years old.

......................................................... more tomorrow.

Peace and Health To All XXX