Friday, August 26, 2011

Blessed

Tonight I'm feeling Blessed, I have so much to be thankful for it makes all the other stuff trivial.
I have been lucky Enough to have loved and been loved by 2 men, 2 very different men the first I met when I was only 15 and yes that was young and everyone told me I was too young I didn't know what real love was and I can say unequivocally knowing what I do now that they were wrong. I did love him and I loved him with all my heart but in saying that forever wasn't meant to be he wasn't the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life but he was the man who was meant to be the father of my 4 amazing children that I know because each and everyone of my babies were meant to be here with me as their mumma and I couldn't of achieved that with out him. I don't need to go into details of the way we grew apart or the problems we endured. I can actually now take responsibility for my part in its failure to endure the test of time. I can own up to my mistakes and as much as I would of changed a lot of things that happened I wouldn't change the part were we went our separate ways. I could of done things differently probably better but it was what it was at the time and I cant live with regret just acceptance of what and how things are.
Now the reason I know we were never meant to be together forever is because the second Love of my life completes me he has given me the acceptance and Love that I have always wanted we have an honest open and passionate relationship that is set to endure the many test put upon us. He is what I always dreamed about when you picture that perfect partner.
Now he is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but seriously who in the hell is. I am most certainly not I pushed prodded and tested his patience his love and his loyalty.
My problem in the beginning was that I never thought I deserved to be loved in such a way.
He made me believe different.
I never thought that I could trust someone with my most inner and deepest secrets.
He made me believe different
I never thought I could totally be myself without the pretence or worry of being judged.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that the things that happened to me in my past must of somehow someway been my fault.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that I had to be the tower of strength for everyone as there was no one else.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that I had to settle for a life alone as punishment for not being good enough.
He made me believe different.

But tonight and every night from the moment I met him I thank God and I am so very grateful for everything he has made me believe different.

Thank you my Love xx

2 Comments:

At 7:18 am , Blogger Walker said...

It's funny how things workout in life and they usually do work out.
In the beginning we start out without a real understanding of time and try to be what we want to be instead of growing into the people we are today.
We still get there but we worked hard to make it difficult on ourselves.
Like you i was with the wrong person from when i was 15 until i was 34 but I don;t regret the kids I had with her.
It made me the person i am today and probably a better mate to the person i am with now.

I tell my kids not to try and grow up to fast.
It makes life worth enjoying.

 
At 12:13 pm , Blogger © Westlander Poetry said...

You deserve his love, friendship and partnership. And he deserves yours.

Thanks for sharing this sweet girl.

xx,
deb

 

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