Blessed

Tonight I'm feeling Blessed, I have so much to be thankful for it makes all the other stuff trivial.
I have been lucky Enough to have loved and been loved by 2 men, 2 very different men the first I met when I was only 15 and yes that was young and everyone told me I was too young I didn't know what real love was and I can say unequivocally knowing what I do now that they were wrong. I did love him and I loved him with all my heart but in saying that forever wasn't meant to be he wasn't the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life but he was the man who was meant to be the father of my 4 amazing children that I know because each and everyone of my babies were meant to be here with me as their mumma and I couldn't of achieved that with out him. I don't need to go into details of the way we grew apart or the problems we endured. I can actually now take responsibility for my part in its failure to endure the test of time. I can own up to my mistakes and as much as I would of changed a lot of things that happened I wouldn't change the part were we went our separate ways. I could of done things differently probably better but it was what it was at the time and I cant live with regret just acceptance of what and how things are.
Now the reason I know we were never meant to be together forever is because the second Love of my life completes me he has given me the acceptance and Love that I have always wanted we have an honest open and passionate relationship that is set to endure the many test put upon us. He is what I always dreamed about when you picture that perfect partner.
Now he is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but seriously who in the hell is. I am most certainly not I pushed prodded and tested his patience his love and his loyalty.
My problem in the beginning was that I never thought I deserved to be loved in such a way.
He made me believe different.
I never thought that I could trust someone with my most inner and deepest secrets.
He made me believe different
I never thought I could totally be myself without the pretence or worry of being judged.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that the things that happened to me in my past must of somehow someway been my fault.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that I had to be the tower of strength for everyone as there was no one else.
He made me believe different.
I always thought that I had to settle for a life alone as punishment for not being good enough.
He made me believe different.

But tonight and every night from the moment I met him I thank God and I am so very grateful for everything he has made me believe different.

Thank you my Love xx