Im Back

Im home from work, Im sick and Im tired so where do I go when I feel like shit alone and no where else to turn?

Honey I'm "HOME"

I'm all cosy and warm in my bed but it’s more than the electric blanket that is giving me comfort today its being here and writing again.


Now, I'm not a writer a poet or an artist but I do know that writing became important to me; it was my comfort food and my best friend at times.

It was with me when I was at my lowest it was with me through Birthdays, Weddings and happiness. Lots of highs and lots of lows here there has been some rambling and purging laughter and tears.
Treatment was hard it was really hard and it was long and it was draining, then he got stabbed, we got married and well so much has happened since then it’s been a long time for me to need this again or admit I need this or admit I miss this and that I love it.

My last Post was a letter written by Ish about Ben it was read in court at that woman's sentencing, which was a joke in itself but we have to move on so here we are.

Below is where I left things this time 2 years ago strange for me to read but necessary to start fresh again.

Today is significant as well, it’s been 29 years since my Dad passed and it feels surreal to even say that number. Shit its a lifetime ago but I remember it so vividly as if it were just last week, that maybe one of the reasons my facade is crumbling lately that’s probably why I felt the need to come back this is my place of comfort my very own special place where ever I may be physically this is where I am emotionally in between the lines on this page.
There are many pieces of me here many sides and many not so secret secrets I smile as I feel safe here. That's kind of hard to explain how do I feel safe in a page of words? To be honest I have no idea I'm hardly the philosopher but I am ME and I love that I can be ME "HERE"

Comfort food..........................I don’t expect or need people to eat with me but...........
I’m at my own dinner party with all my favourite foods and that’s OK because I can eat what ever I want here as much or as little as I choose.

I can snack on all the different little sweet and sour treats.

I missed here and I’m glad I'm back eating again.