Thoughts at 1am.........Look out

Tonight I had a nearly 3 hour conversation my sista gal Deb. We talk at least once a week and considering I am not big on phones we never run out of things to say. I love this about her there are no boundaries no miss-communication no tip toeing around subjects nothing is off limits. There are though, lots of respect lots of understanding and lots of love and support and more laughter than I can handle sometimes.I feel we cover such a wide variety of subjects that my mind is still on fast forward long after the receiver is down. It’s not so for her, as when she is talking to me I am one day ahead and 7 hours behind. So my 4pm Wednesday in the arvo is her 11pm Tuesday night. Anyway today we discussed the generational differences between adolescents of today compared to our mothers or grand mothers and how its harder now than ever. (Some heavy shit comes up in our conversations hey?)
It was sparked by comments made to me by my daughter and by a friend Deb’s.
I have used a computer and been on the net only 7 years I still have friends who are unable to turn on a computer especially stay at home mums there kids on the other hand, it is second nature all though not to my 20 year old so go figure. My 12 year old helps me Sshhhhh.
It is more wide spread now than 7 years ago but I know there are parents out there of some teenagers who do not have a clue what there kids are doing on the computer or the net.
All though it’s a great tool and it has opened the world up to endless possibilities but does the freedom of speech and the means to research anything hurting rather than helping some. The internet has no boundries for those who now there way around.
Each generation when they are young usually listen to their parents repeat the same words they always swore they wouldn’t repeat when they heard them.
When I was your age Blah Blah Blah. I still pull myself up and look back at my past and the vision of my Mum throwing her hands in the air saying what’s wrong with the kids today in my day things were simple. We went to school we did our chores if we were lucky we played with our friends and maybe had a bag of lollies, we walked everywhere and their weren't any phones or computers or drugs and we were fine. Bored how can you be bored?
My mum had a tortureous child hood and I am surprised she was able to handle things as well as she did but thats another story.
Different groups clothes and cultures all with different influences and our parents saying they don’t understand the youth of today. The 50's 60's70's and now into the mellenium my how things have changed. Now I find myself with 4 kids of varying ages whom I would say have had no real trauma or hardship compared to some. I would have to say that most people I have spoken to have concurred that our parents complained there parents complained and they mostly thought each had it easier than the generation before.
I don’t believe that of this generation, even compared to 5 years ago when my eldest was in High School teenagers dealt with different issues no where near as bad as now. I had a pretty tough time from the age of 12 but think my kids have it harder dealing with a new problem a different problem.
We have a fad, a generation of an emotionally solemn group called emos, we also have kids that are doing disturbing things other than drugs and getting pregnant at a young age.
Times are tough and are this generation of parents too busy? Are some of us over protective?
Are some of them in the dark? What’s going on? Are we a generation of parents switched on to our kids? Or are all generations playing catch up and will this continue? I say no, I refuse to be absent from my kids from my grand kids.The things that face our kids now are scary to me. I know our parents were scared and thee parents were scared, the sheep and follower’s mentality scares me, the need for drama the need for obscurity from the norm and a need to be a part of a new culture, a need to express a so called individuality. Most are not individual they are part of the pack they wear the same clothes listen to the same music cut their hair in a particular way and dwell on being sad and depressed. The fashion industry cashes in on it, really bad bands cash in on really bad music, the same hair styles. There are web sites on how to be emo and related sites on depression like a two step program and they dream of dying.
Some but not all of this culture have turned to the new emotional release that they say is better than drugs and it is needless to say very disturbing the new rage and what my kids are witnessing in their school is CUTTERS. These kids can come from a variety of back grounds not just bad. Some are closet cutters some are very open and enjoy it being known that they cut as it is cool (to them) They say there have been cutters through many generations some have been miss diagnosed as suicide attempts. I do believe it is one of two things a cry for help or an attempt at manipulation and attention. Either way scary stuff, some do it to be like the others, some do it to dwell on there own self demise and don’t tell anyone.The scariest part of this whole thing is we the parents NOW it was rare in the past now it is not, it is abnormal to us but normal now to my teenager, her words are they all do it mum, she is not a cutter and not an emo she is not a follower but a true individual. She is as surprised as me by the sheer velocity of kids playing out this ritual. It is openly out there words carved into these kids’ arms legs and stomachs for all to see (for some) my question then is what are there parents thinking surely you cant miss it?
You are buying the clothes for one, you are paying for the hair cut and the black dye you allow your kids to spend hours alone in their room or with like minded kids and accept they are only kids sowing their individual personality, are you kidding me.
Where the hell is your head?? My 14 year old daughter who has not been sheltered from the ways of the world and the news and the not so nice side of life thinks this is strange why they don’t is beyond me. I would be asking some damn serious questions about the word death being carved into the back of my Childs leg. I would not buy these clothes or let my blonde haired teenager dye her hair black and then let them be alone on the internet to look up suicide how to web sites. I would know, you would notice the change and not accept it as teenage transition. Wouldn't you? The other problem is those who cut and only share with a select few and hide their wounds are the truly troubled or are they attention seekers also?
What are the questions being asked by these parents because I can’t work it out?
I worry about my kids I restrict their lifestyle and teach them values morals right from wrong acceptable and not. I just assumed that most of these parents would also, but no apparently not. I do believe the majority do and I am not here to bag out parents of emos or cutters or any other particular so called group but I am disturbed.
I have sat and had lengthy conversations about other kids with my girls not a select few but generalised about this girl they know or this boy they know that I don’t. The stories I hear are just blowing my mind,we dont take time out to talkand make a group discussion that is planned we just talk daily about their day. Some of these kids are from wealthy families the so called well respected two parent homes without any real worries or do they?
Can they legitimise this kind of behaviour?
Is it genetically programmed into some kids?
Is it environmental?
Is it from trauma or lack of something?
Is it physiological that some kids are drawn in certain directions and others not.
Too many questions not enough answers as far as I am concerned.
I just feel extra blessed tonight that my children are not into this new phase or fad. I am glad I am not a part of these enabling families ignoring this generational blackout. I am glad that my normal is still my children’s normal and that generation gap has not hit my home to that extent.
I feel blessed that my kids discuss good and bad behaviour with me and that they aren’t afraid to talk to me about anything and that is there words.
They tell me they think there lucky. What more could a mumma want than for her kids to feel lucky without any monitory value in their minds.
They feel blessed to have a mum however sick annoying, weird, loud and embarrassing she may be.
They feel blessed to have a dad not their biological father in their lives, who adores them, even if he yells sometimes, is sarcastic and tells them off if they are doing the wrong thing.
They feel blessed for what they have to eat each night.
They feel blessed to have warm clothes in winter and blankets. My kids see life as a gift not a given. I am proud to say the least and its funny I thought we were the strange ones.
What will be the next generation’s pain?
Will this be a passing phase or how far will this go?