Saturday, September 30, 2006

Reflections of Time

I looked at my reflection
I had just Brushed my hair
Its a little darker than it used to be
But I dont really care
I look a little closer at the colour of my eyes
Not as bright as i remember
Not as innocent while I stare
Ive never stopped and looked this close
I see further than just there
The older person stareing back at me
Who is she,do I dare
I still see a little girl who used to talk to the mirror when she was alone
She has lines beside her eyes now
She has dark circles underneath
Who are you ................
Who is this woman staring back at me through my young eyes
How quickly time has passed
How strange it feels to look back and forward at the same time
With wonder and amazement of the journey far behind
I love that little girl, through her pain and heartache she stayed True,
True to herself and to heart
She's still thankful for all that is good and forgiving of all that was not
A single tear streams down the cheek of this older woman
Then reaches the corner of my smile
I think I like this older Woman
She tells me im okay
She said that I made her into the older woman that I see today
She said this as were interupted, by a younger voice than mine
I heard her call her mummy
The older woman smiled
I am always here for you she whispered as she waved goodbye
Because I am all I am today........ all because of time.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Weekend at The Gold Coast

How could you not have great weekend when this is what you wake up to.

My sweet Bek with Ayesha. Bens youngest Sister shes like one of my own babies I love her kind heart and sweet spirit and so does Ish.As you can see here.

Saraya How could you say NO to this face!!
She just loves chocolate and shes showing me how much.....Thanks Baby Girl, Aunty has some.

Tayla and Bella our gorgy staffy

Martin with a fish he found he didnt understand we couldnt have it for we found it floating.

These two Great kids belong to Bens sis Amii she is great. I love her huge we always have a laugh together she has a wicked sense of humour and obviously these two little gems are the light of her life.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

*** Power of Prayer***

" I Believe In The Power Of Prayer "

I have one of my best friends whom ive been friends with for 24 years.
She is in Hospital and theie not sure whats going on.
I would just appreciate any Prayers that you have to spare be directed at this gorgeous woman.
Her name is Jeanise she is a mother to 3 and nan nan to 1 and 1 on the way.
I love her dearly and appreciate anyone who could say a prayer for her.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006


I want to wish the Love of My Life The Happiest Birthday ever. He is the sweetest man I have ever met he has taken on a huge roll being daddy to my clan and he surpasses all my expectations in evey way possible. He has the patients of a saint and he loves our kids unconditionally and I love him for that and so do they. This day is special for both of us because we met each other on his Birthday so its a double Blessing. He has to work today but I have him all to myself tonight the girls are camping with friends of ours and that is something money cant buy. Precious Time ALONE, Yehah. Anyone with kids can understand that.
There is only one thing missing, a baby of our own....I had cancer at 25 and had a Hysterectomy but I still have my ovaries so weve actually been exploring our options on that......Il keep you updated very exciting.
So Happy Birthday Ben I love You Honey !!!!!!!! XOXOX

Friday, September 22, 2006

"My Babies and Me"

Ayesha-Rae is a beautiful spirit
she is the youngest of my bears and is 11 1/2 and she has
long red hair and grey eyes shes my irish glow, just a
pleasure to love she has a pure and forgiving nature with
a wicked sense of humour that keeps us laughing
constantly.She is a mummas girl (i secretly love it cause
shes my last) She is our actress/comedian/dancer her
concerts a great she was my shyest we used to call her
barnicle, she was permanently attached to my hip but she
has found herself and grown into her own.

Then we have my tiny no 3 Tayla-Rose who is just a doll
shes the next Elle Mcpherson with out the body(lol), shes 13
1/2 but still wheres size 8 clothes and weighs only 27
kgs she was 1 of a twin, I miscarried at 16 weeks
but she hung on and is our fiesty little bear. She has
bum length blonde hair with grey eyes who loves her
friends and is very loyal to them she is the queen of her
sisterhood. Shorter than Ish but loads of fun she just
came first in 100m 200m 400m and 800m shes off to
regionals soon, very proud. Shes quite the little mum and
everyones baby sitter i dont now how she manages to carry
them half the time shes so tiny.Amazingly level headed for her age.
Then there is Kyle he
is my only boy at 17 1/2 hes a handful.
With a smile that could melt any ice berg. He is my crutch and my best friend.
( Of course except for Benjamin)
He is my biggest defence against harm.
he would fight with
me and for me till the is handsome.
(And its not just me who thinks so..he he)
He is 6ft tall Gorgeous brown eyes, very dark brown hair and olive skin all my
bears have olive skin except ayesha but she tans well believe
it or not.
Then there is Danicka-Lea my baby who started it all.
The obsession with my children.
Dana is 5ft 7 long brown hair and big brown eyes she has won many
contests beauty and modelling but she is not into it. She loves
her jeans and pluggers (thongs) pony tails and no make up she is
beautiful inside and out. She is strong and kind and has a true heart of gold.
Being adopted i had nothing to
compare myself to untill she was born and then i was
hooked from the moment she looked into my eyes i knew i
was here on this planet to live and give life, to teach
more than your typical 2.5 children. I was here to raise
and teach many, to love themselves and others equally.
I had been very self distructive up untill that
point (with some reason) but she changed my life and she
changes everyones that she meets she is a blessing with a
cool temprement she is my calmness she is my balance i
worship the young woman that she has become she is still
learning as are we all and id like to shake her when i
see her mistakes but she has taught me to stand back and
except what i cant change to trust in her unconditionally
and exept her choices and to love her just the same. Its hard
(Harder than I thought)
When there little and dependant ,you have
control of their happiness and its an amazing feeling. But
letting them be responsible for their own destiny is the
hardest lesson that ive had to learn even harder than the
rocky road i travelled before them but they are my
life... they are me and i am them.... ther amazing.
I didnt get my 6(My Wish) but i was blessed with 4 of the sweetest
hearts ever and as much as i wanted more it wasnt to be,
So now i can... but cant wait to be a grandmother you
know what i mean. Well i hope that was a small insight
into at least my babies.
I am so proud of all of my children and I love them dearly.
May They always Be Blessed.

I Believe......

"I Believe...... "
There is no greater investment you can make which will pay you so well as the love time and effort you put into raising your children.
"I Believe......
That our children are to be "Respected, Forgiven and Loved Unconditionally"
"I Believe......
That Insults should be written in the sand, and praises carved in stone.We should teach them to Never be afraid to try something new. "Remember" Amateurs built the ark; Professionals built the titanic.
"I Believe......
That my chidren are the future and they can learn from my past.
"They know bad things can happen to good people".
They know bad things have happened to me.
They know that im not Bitter,Im not Vengful,Im not Beaten.
They know im Stronger,Better and Braver for being able to put my past were it belongs..........In The Past
"I Believe......
That forgiveness is the key to moving forward "With a True Heart" like the one that we are all born with.Its the path that we choose or not!!! That makes us into the person that we become.
"I Believe......
That Honesty and commitment to my children has given them the stepping stones required to be AMAZING young people and by telling them daily, they can grow with the confidence and care for others they would wish for themselves.
"I Believe......
I sometimes dont tell them how much they mean to me.How their mere presence or a glimpse of their smiles melt my Heart and my Fears.
"I Believe......
I will always try harder to rectify that.
"I Believe......
Someone may have stolen my dream when i was young and fresh and innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.
"I Believe......In "ME"

Thursday, September 21, 2006

""The Wiz""

The above photo is Ayesha's bestie her name is maddie she is a great kid with a huge Heart and has been an integral part of Ayeshas transition to Eumundi from Brisbane another one one of my fave babes.

Well what an exiciting night 50 gorgeous kids all getting ready out the back of the hall. Everybody waiting patiently in their seats,then the lights dim and the show begins. Music filled the hall and then the dancing.Their tireless daily rehersals have paid off. There all unreal and my baby shined it was an all round great show.A standing ovation followed the finale and the drive home was full of excitement and laughter as we recounted the nights events Danicka and Ayesha catching up on some overdue goss. We all thought Ayesha was the "BEST" (We may be a bit byest but thats our privlege)

Danicka and I were up well after everyone was asleep I made her a hot icecream ball with caramel sauce, after she stuffed herself we talked and laughed until we reluctantly went to sleep at about 3.30 am. Im so lucky that my guy didnt mind the fact the she and i were curled up on a matress in the lounge when he got up at 6am for work considering I hadnt seen him in two days. He knows how much i miss my baby. She has grown into such an amazing young lady im so PROUD of her. Letting go of them and allowing them to live their own lives with their own choices, is a lesson in itself. You teach them right from wrong, to be kind and caring and everything that you think is right at the time. Then it is so hard to trust that you have given them the right advice and guidance to make good choices. But so far so good. It doesnt get any easier as they get older because to me they will always be my babies.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Al Dente Pastors

No im not talking spaghetti or carbonara.......LOL

Introducing:My In-Laws Ray and Kym

I have Complete and Unconditional Trust and Love for these two people.They make me want to be all that I can be.They are the smartest most compassionate people I have ever met and I strive to be as awesome as these to people.

(and im not sucking up....LOL)

Im talking about my Darling father in law and mother in law.Ray is many things to me he is my friend my mentor my confidant and my pastor.He is a blessing in my life a shining light that forever shines bright in my heart.He is a master of the ink he just rang to ask my opinon on a letter he had just wrote to a company and my tummy aches from laughing at the wit in which he can get his point across.
He also knows that my Ben is away today and has been in Brisy for two days so im sure he also uses the time just to check on me. (Feeling oh so loved)

Kym....An amazing woman whom im proud to be loved by. Do you ever sometimes feel that just being loved by a certain person makes you a better person well thats how she makes me feel and I consider them a huge Blessing in my Life. XOXO To them both.
They have accepted my kids and I into her family with a warmth that I pray everyone feels once in their lives. But really consider how lucky I am to have them be the Parents of my SOUL MATE.

Tonight the youngest of my angels has her performce of "The Wiz" a Funky Hip Hop version of The Wizard of Oz. She will look amazing in her costumes hopefully i can do the whole photo thing so all can see just how mazing she is.Ben is bringing Danicka up from Brissy tonight so she can cheer on her baby sista(and give me some precious time)
Miss my oldest kids terribly. But they are both young adults doing their mummy Proud.

Dare To Dream

I Dare to try and join the world of Blogging!!!!
I love to read and be a part of these strangers lives
To share there highs and lows
They have made me laugh and often cry
They have lifted my spirits
And somtimes made me feel not so alone

I hope that my children learn more about how I feel about them
In the times i cant actualy tell them face to face.And Ben realises
How much him coming into my life has ment to me.