Tuesday, July 31, 2007

When the end is just the beginning

Saturday marked a rush a visit to be by the side of my oldest and dearest friend Pete.
His mum had been in Hospital for over two weeks with an unknown infection she was quite ill but everyone was hopeful of the outcome.
Peter didn’t ring me straight away thinking that he would let me know when she was home as he is protective of me and knew the news would worry me as his mum and I are very close and he has been acutely aware of how ill I have been with this treatment.
He tried but couldn’t keep the news from me any longer though and after talking to him for my Birthday I made the decision to have Ben drive me to the Gold Coast to be with them.
Things took a turn for the worse after my arrival and we spent the next two days by her side.
I don’t have the energy for details but we were with her when she passed on Sunday.
To say I'm devastated exhausted and trying to build my strength for the week ahead is an understatement. Peter has lost both his parents, a sister, a grandmother, two aunts, an uncle and a cousin in the last 5 years.
This is an end to an era and the beginning of another painful transition of a family in mourning.
I have just come home for a couple of days to gather my strength to go back to be with my friend the Gold Coast is just over two hours away.
So again my absence will be obvious and your prayers deeply appreciated if you can.
I'm still in shock and seem to be reliving the experience of her fear, her pain and those last days each time I close my eyes and my extended families anguish is breaking my Heart.
I need sleep, I need my strength and I need for my closest friend to be okay.
I am again at a loss for words that can explain this moment.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Birthday Girl

Jimbaran Bay- BALI
My Birthday 2 years ago I was in Bali for 3 weeks. I had just sold my house and we celebrated by having our first holiday together.

27-07-05 Ben and I were engaged at sunset on the Beach. (I am Happy but a little Drunk LOL)Our table was about 12 ft from the crashing waves we had our own band and an amazing array of food.
1000 000 Ru-pea the fact that it was a million made giddy in the tummy.

Our own Band great guys and we shared our food with them because we so over ordered.
Monkey Forest they are so cheeky but so gorgeous.

Tanned from the beautiful sunshine drunk from the op Rum bought duty free. It was a great Birthday
On the Beach Ben with his long hair also in a plait. Hawkers trying to sell us everything and anything. They called him Boss because he was so big. They also said a man with long hair will have long life.

27-07-07 Today is my Birthday I have just gotten up I had a change of drugs on Tuesday when I went to the specialist and they have knocked me around a little only until I am used to them any way. My white cell count is a little lower but not as bad as it has been my hemoglobin is up a little but I haven't been able to tell really. Other than the change of some of the drugs I'm okay. Hopefully I will be going to dinner tonight so that is something hey?
The last few days I have been in bed until like 2pm but then I'm okay until like 9pm so there is some reprieve. It hasn't been all doom and gloom there has been some funny things that have had me really happy. Ben's dad is up as we have a JOB yay, a huge driveway to do so that will brighten the finances and hopefully start a flow of work.
We were sitting last night eating salad Ayesha and I do not eat cucumber I can but I don't like it much like. Ish being our never ending source of entertainment grabbed the one only piece of cucumber on her plate popped it on her eye dressing and all and stated at the table; "isn't this good for your eyes?" Hello......... Mayo and all we just cracked up, she turned to us innocently and doe eyed well that's what I heard and I'm not going to eat it so? (precious)
Tayla Rose is my athlete she won both the 100m and the 800m sprints at school yesterday and next week she will run 2 more different race she is a natural.
My baby Kyle (18years old) had me hold his hand at the dentist. I love being a mumma to give comfort to my kids has me the happiest woman alive its what I live for it is what I cherish and it is what gives me balance and faith.

Well dear friends I will try and fill you in more often know that I'm up and about again until then God Bless you all.

Peace and Health To Each and Everyone of You XXX

Monday, July 23, 2007

Ramblings of a Confused Mind (AGAIN)

Well its Monday here and I am up out of bed, showered, legs shaved, hair washed, arm pits whipper snipped (Hairrrrrrry Maclary) This is an every day or maybe a every couple of day thing for women girls you know what I mean, unless of course you have babies then hairy is to be expected who the hell has time right?. To be honest for me at the moment this is an achievement in it's self, especially all of this with no pain killers YAY for me. I have not actually washed my hair myself in nearly a month. Ben has done it the last few times but it has been nearly 2 weeks since its last washing Mmmmm smelly girl, lol. Its too cold to be in bed with wet hair and I can't wash it myself, let alone dry it. (I feel like a baby GRrrrrr)
Now don’t get me wrong I have showered but I haven't taken anytime to do the things that make you feel like a woman and not a like a Neanderthal which is what I looked like before I hit the shower this morning.
I’m not kidding I had turned Ferrel. I am not a hairy person generally (not bad for half wog) and my hair is fair but for shits sake, when it gets to the length it had, I looked like a palomino pony with its winter coat (not very seductive or sexy my friends) The bags under my eyes are a little lighter today, my skin not so blotchy, the furrows are not permanently etched into my brow line as they are when I am in pain, and I truly feel free at this moment. I should be jumping with joy (but that still hurts) so I will smile brightly and tell you it’s good to be alive seriously I am truly appreciative of that.

BUT……………………..there’s always a but isn't there (I hate that)

Now I wanted to write an up lifting post as everything lately has been depressing and if it hasn't been depressing I haven't had anything to say, you know something with some depth, some profound words of wisdom and something that was thought provoking. Yet words and an articulate thought pattern still eludes me. I am back reading blogs and and I am enjoying every one's words lately, they seem to jump off the page with a vigour and vibrancy that I can't find in myself. I am finding that I have nothing, I am blank, I still have an untidy mind being rational is not coming easily and normally its quite clear to me, wrong-right-black-white, the problem is everything is grey, its blurry, it’s unclear, its cluttered my thoughts and feelings are unsteady just like a boat in a storm that has broken free from its mooring. I feel as though I am swaying and bobbing across the waves. I'm feeling as though I have an anchor dragging and its trying to catch itself on the ocean floor searching for stability to ride out this storm of emotions. Praying for the seas to be calm, for the sun to shine through and just enjoy being settled and comfortable where I am and knowing who I am again.
I am happy, grateful and trying to savour every minute out of bed, enjoy every second that my eyes are open and my head is not thumping to an African rhythm reminiscent of a Zulu tribe in celebration. So I really don’t want to come across as though I don’t relish and appreciate the reprieve because I do, but this is hard seriously It's an effort to smile, it’s an effort to appreciate the good when I do not know how long it may last and that makes me feel guilty, so follows the cycle of abuse I inflict upon myself in my mind. I do appreciate it though or do I? Now I don’t even make sense I contradict myself and this is a problem.
Physically I am coping I am tough its only pain HA HA HA I laugh at pain. It’s not the pain it’s the confusion, it’s my forgetfulness (not the normal forget the 50 first dates forget) serious short term and long term memory loss. It’s the strain on my relationships it’s getting to us all. We are so close yet it feels so damn far away. I am not being negative and my feelings of better health today are truly a blessing and I believe my prayers were answered. Yesterday months of anxiety, anger and frustration came to a head and Ben and I both reacted very badly and said many things neither of us meant or at least I don't think we meant them. You see that is where the problem lies; I don’t know, I just think I do or I don't think I do. Our lives have been turned up side down our money situation at the stage of just surviving and the test of our relationship close to tipping the scales to a place neither of us want to visit.
I do not know what is real in my head any more my mind plays tricks and the drugs have altered my personality and we both fear that the real me is lost. I think things that are out of character for me and I burden myself with the strangest of things sometimes so left field, I feel like a complete idiot when things are calmer and I am more rational or when I think I am.
I know the scenario of this is understandable, this is expected in difficult times but knowing this and living it are two very different things. Too many questions, not enough answers. Many people do not complete this treatment, that has never been an option for me but I can see why the gamut of side effects are too much, the mental torture unfair and I feel this is the worst. I need to have clarity, I need to have control and balance in my life, its something that I have worked at for many years to achieve its one of the only things I really need.
I had no control of my circumstances as a child and little control through an abusive marriage.
I learnt and gained an independence a stability and a rational pattern of thinking that I was very proud of and enjoyed. I feel ripped off by my physical incapability’s but I can handle that easily, it’s more so my lack of control over my feelings and the processing of certain situations. It makes me feel cynical sometimes and angry most of the time without knowing why, snappy, insensitive, distressed and very unsure of the real truth in any given situation. My doctor says its normal and maybe it is but this is difficult to accept and when your mind is telling you things that your heart knows are untrue or thinks or maybe feels, it makes for a difficult time for everyone concerned. A
Believe that this is a temporary situation.
Believe this will be better once treatment is over.
Believe I will be back to the person my family love and admire.
Believe I will learn to like myself again maybe even love.
Believe I will know my own mind really soon and it will match my heart.
I have to make a conscious effort to trust in those who love me.
I have to try and achieve some balance, count to ten before I react.
I have to retrain and try to achieve clarity in situations before they get out of control and I cause irreversible damage.
I need to have faith in the bigger picture.
I need to know that nothing will be placed upon me that I can not handle.
I need to have Faith in my family and my relationships.
I need to know I make sense and when I'm right and more importantly when I am wrong.

pattern of behaviour has been formed an instability for everyone has been created and it’s hard.
So where does that leave me??
Where does that leave my family and my relationship??
I have to……….. AND believe it or not……… I do, either way no matter what happens in the future, whatever is meant to be will be and I will do my best to achieve love, life and a balance that at the moment is only a memory in my past.
I have survived molestation.
I have survived rape.
I have survived an attempted murder.
I have survived an attempted suicide.
I have survived severe bashing.
I have survived two kidney operations.
I have survived cervical cancer.
I have survived uterine cancer
I have survived a stroke
I am surviving this next chapter in Life and when I read back over what I have already been through I am really blessed that I’m here to talk about it or ramble about it either way it could be a lot worse and I am grateful.
Peace and Health To All XXX

Saturday, July 21, 2007

In Memory

Is this the biggest zucchini ever? I am so proud of it LOLTayla came into the room and snapped my most Loyal companion Bella she sticks very close when I am sick. I thought it was very sweet that she snuck in for the pic saying I could blog it. Again not a flattering picture but this has been me for two weeks why hide it.

It seems all doom and gloom lately but I assure that’s not the case I have a powering vege garden that has survived a wicked frost and a drop of temperature to -4 that doesn’t make me happy. LOL
What does make me Happy is my visit from Amii (Ben's sister) and her massive clean up for me, my house was so yucky it made me sick just thinking about it but now it is clean fresh and tidy. I so appreciate what she does for me.
I am Happy about my Zucchinis that were about 15 inches long fat and huge and really YUMMY, my tomatoes are getting big the lettuce is crunchy and fresh the chili's fiery and the snow peas are so sweet. I am grateful for being here to see life grow and the seasons change I believe life is so precious and Nature is so beautiful I consider every day to be so precious. Sick or not I am grateful for every day.

In Memory
The 22nd July 2006: 1 Year ago On this day we lost a Friend a Son a Brother and an amazing man who lived his life with Joy and a vigour we could only hope to achieve. Due to a motorbike accident he was killed instantly in front of his brother’s eyes and a few of his mates. He will be dearly missed and he will never be forgotten. Brett was Ben's Best Friends brother and it was a shock to all concerned. On my birthday last year we attended his funeral along with over a hundred people. On that day I met his Sister my beautiful and talented friend Bek (my soul whispers)

My birthday last year wasn’t celebrated the way we thought it was a day were we remembered a great guy and I made a new and amazing friend amongst tragedy.My heart goes out to Wade and his fiancé Bek, his dad Col, Bek and his other sisters Megan, Lee and all who remember him tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dare to Dream Postcard

This arrived in the mail today from the Beautiful V she has been with me from very early and is just a gorgeous girl who I love and adore.

This made my day and was worthy of me getting out of bed to post it. Thank God, I am sick of the sight of my room mind you I will be down for 10mins then back to bed.
Ammi B's sister is coming up for a few days to help out its a battle at the moment but I will get there.

I still haven't read any body as I just haven't been out of bed.

Thanks Ness I am still Dreaming and Believing in people as a whole.
You all help me believe in Dreams.

This has come at the right time for me. Knowing that she took the time out to send this has warmed my heart. There is a photo of a clothes shop called shazzas but I couldn't up-load it. GRrrrrrrr

So cool though hey.

Peace and Health to All xxxx

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Thanking You

Guys I'm sorry for my absence, I have been in bed for the last week only up to shower and eat when I could.

So much has happened this last week or so.

I am so upset and disturbed at the news of my brother's girlfriends children's abuse by their dad and it has drained and burdened me beyond belief.

Everyone is devastated especially my little sister as the legal battle has been going on for a long time and she is very close to all this.

I really worry how this affects her let alone my bro and his lady.

I am so at a loss for words at this time about that.

I thank you for your kind words and support at this time, a few of you in particular know me well and I can also read between the lines and appreciate that you know me this well.

Those of you have emailed I will get back to you.

I just wanted to check in here first as I know you care for me as I do for you and I Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

I will catch up soon.

Peace and Health To All XXX

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Pain and Anguish

Tears for the children who have no say
Tears for the children who don't understand
Tears for the children who have to pay
Tears for the children who are not protected
Tears for the children who learn to obey
Tears for the children of parents who harm
Tears for the pain that is never okay
Tears for the pain that doesn't reflect
Tears for their pain that's for more than one day
Prayers for the children un-burden their Heart
Prayers for the children right from the start

My Heart is breaking, our family is grieving.

I am Praying for peace, for truth, for justice, for consequences and I pray for forgiveness, for wishing the same atrocities upon this abuser and for wishing agony and a long painful stint in hell to him for every thing he has ever done.

I cannot say anything, I am actually at a loss for words, the acts are so vile, I just can not comprehend. As my own son sits at my feet and my girls are sound asleep, safe in their beds tears flow with recognition of how lucky they are and how blessed they have been.

I know the pain of the children.

I just cant imagine being there mumma.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Birthday Weekend

Happy Birthday Jason
Marty and mine
Our friendly neighbour hood Spiderman (Troy)
This is the long standing joke about double chins so we all were doing the cover up. Me, Jane (Jason's wife and Lyndell)
It was a hat Party and this was the best I could do on short notice.
Well I was supposed to go to Brisbane Friday to help my babe move house and clean up I was to sick so Ben and I went down Saturday and we did as much as we could and she was happy and her new place is closer to trains shops and is much bigger.
Saturday night was Jason's Birthday Bash it was a great night and we had a ball, we danced and sang and laughed until I had to go back to Lyndell's as I was just too tired and I had a couple of drinks only 3/4 over like 6 hours but it really didn't work well with my medication so I wont be doing that again.
Kyle was there and my baby boy is back home with his mumma for a couple of weeks he is looking for work back in Brisbane, working away is taking his toll on him he is missing his girlfriend (of 1 year) and us. He may move in with Danicka yet, as the house I found for her has a small granny flat down stairs that would be perfect for him so fingers crossed it all works out.
We have to go this weekend to Ipswich to get Kyles Ute and the rest of his gear from the workers house so another long one its been so busy my head is just spinning I really need to slow down. Everyone is on to us to move back to Brisbane as we seem to be spending so much time down there since I have been better and its nice to be missed and I do miss them, we will see but having the big kids there is a huge motivation for us but I just don't know yet.
Well I am still just catching up on things as I don't get much sleep while we are away I need my own bed I'm a little funny like that and besides that I have trouble sleeping now so being away from home is a double whammy.
PS: Miss Naughty was missed. LOL
Well I will catch up with you all tomorrow.
Peace and Health To All XXX

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Part 3 the phone call that changed the events

Part 3 the phone call that changed the events

I am so pissing myself laughing at the thought of what I could say here. I could be artistic and embellish but I don't have too it was so funny it could only be me and them.
I am calling one of the perpetrators Little Miss Naughty and the other Mrs Naughty there not that naughty but it’s fitting and you will see why.

This story is based on actual facts but the names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the suspects involved due to the legal cases pending. All though some minor details have been left out because I need to use these at a later date for bribing purposes.(just kidding)

The phone rang and it was Little Miss Naughty, laughing hysterically Shaz -Shaz Mrs Naughty is in jail.
What? I start laughing thinking she was having a lend of me.
Then 5 minutes later I started to believe her as she stopped laughing long enough for it to sink in. I am floored by this and tying to make sense of what was being said when she hung after saying IL ring you back... I told Ben, he was a bit tipsy and thought I was lying because Mrs Naughty isnt Naughty at all, well not really and to be fair neither is Miss Naughty but Grappa will make you do things a little out of the ordinary (Remember Italian Festival)
Oh…….. back to the phone, its ringing again, Little Miss N Laughing as she is talking to me and the police about her friends incarceration. I couldn’t get out of her if she was actually arrested nor could I work out why she was there or actually where they were. She again hangs up leaving me clueless to what’s happening. By now I’m a little perturbed and worried so I start to get ready to leave and find out what’s going on even though it’s a stab in the dark to know where to go I was going to head towards town.
Ben is having a ball with my brother and B in law, my sister's in shock saying not Mrs N, she isnt Naughty, but yes my friends Mrs N has been thrown in the lock up and Miss N, full of beer and Grappa has no idea why and neither do I.
I ring Miss N back and she says she is trying to find out what is going on with Mrs N.
I hear Mrs N in the background arguing with a constable and I hear Miss N telling her just to pay the fine and let’s go.(Miss N there is more to what I heard but that’s illegal also)
Phone hangs up again I am trying to ring both on my way out the gate.
Finally Miss N rings and says we are in a cab Mrs N is upset but okay, she will ring me back.
I am presuming they are on there way home and I walk back inside to my sisters to say I will go to Mrs N’s house instead to see if alls okay when the phone rings again.
This time Miss N says with some disillusionment and panic that Mrs N is quite distraught and she needs me to fix her cause shes broken and she doesn’t know what to do, a little dramatic? a little funny?
Maybe, but I wave goodbye again as I am finding out that Miss and Mrs are at another PUB not at home.
Hello??? Are you kidding lol I am thinking this is serious besides being at another pub Mrs N never cries she has to be very upset for that to happen so I am concerned at what has gone down.(are you keeping up?)
I am half way there when the slurring voice asks where I am because I am needed urgently then she hangs up before I can even answer. I pull up I walk in to a very quiet Bar that my dad used to drink at 40years ago so I know it well. I walk in to Miss N jumping on me wrapping her legs around my waist yelling Woo Hoo at the top of her lungs then as I peel her off I have Mrs N sobbing in my arms trying to tell me she never cries but they were very mean and Miss N should never have rang me but she was glad I was there.
We were there about an hour before I threatened the barman with a severe Shazza slap if he didn’t stop serving Sambuca shots as I think they have had enough, the fact that there were handstands on the bar, laughter tears Police fines and loud obscenities of injustice should of made him consider this earlier. DaHhhhh
Okay so we are in my truck and all we have to do is drive home an easy task? One would have thought so but Mrs N had passed out and was slipping head first toward the clutch and brake while Miss N was choking her trying to get her sat up so I could drive. Then I was grabbed from behind telling me how good a friend I was for coming. (Are you kidding?) I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.
I actually had to pull over though and get Mrs N sat up because I couldn’t change gears at this stage and I had to double belt Miss N in because I couldn’t drive with them both on my lap. We finally made it Home and I carried a passed out Mrs N inside and was trying to keep Miss N quiet while I gathered their bags and put them inside to go back to Kels house.
Okay I have done my good deed, had a great laugh at MISS and MRS N’s expense and headed for home. I then had a run in with two police myself who pulled me over wondering what I was doing driving around at 11.30 pm an hour from home. I blew in the bag to prove I hadn’t been drinking and said I was on my way home from a friends house not that I thought it was any of their business as I had done nothing wrong anyway. I was trying to ring Ben at this stage because he wanted me to pick something up for him (a treat) yes I have 5 babies. No answer so I leave it and continue on my way, I get home its freezing I’m cold tired and ready for bed BUT that didn’t happen did it.
Everyone went to bed but they locked me out WTF this is shit. I knocked rang and no one woke up I went under the house got changed and tried to lay on the old sofa down stairs with no pillow or blanket until I decided I was to old and to sick to be in 3 degrees Celsius so I went back out tried every window ad door (2 storey house) then I just bashed on the front door where I could see B in-law and Ben passed out in the lounge room I could see them through a round glass window in the door. It was cold and I had nearly given up when mum finally woke up wondering what the hell was going on. My hands were cold and sore I was tired I had no voice and wanted to kill my drunken husband for having his phone on silent and not hearing me bashing the damn door down. I went on the hunt for a nikko to write on his forehead until mum begged me to calm down and go to sleep. My B in-law was laughing in his sleep and dry humping the lounge until he copped a smack in the head and then he was quiet. Ben didn’t wake up and I finally went to sleep about 4 so needless to say it was a jam packed weekend and I am going back tomorrow oy yiy yi. I need to help eldest daughter move house and then we have a Birthday party Saturday night. I will fill you in when I get back. As you may be able to tell I am a lot better than I have been and getting stronger all the time so all is well but this weekend will be quieter.
PS: I adore both my naughty friends and Love them so much they would with out a doubt do the same for me. XXX
PPS> Grappa is EVIL
Have a great weekend all.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Brisbane weekend Part 2

All my Babies together Umm wait a minute babies?

How short am I ?

My Baby Brother he is less than 2 years younger than me and a big softy.

The God Parents from left Loren Ben holding Monique Kiara being held by Bones and Tenniele on the end and out of the way where she should be. Did I just say that that was a little harsh NOT!! Lets just say because I am a calmer nicer and not so angry at past indiscretions mind you a curt hello and goodbye was enough for me forgiven not forgotten but I refuse to be a hypocrite.

Danny and Kyle I remember when Ky was scared of Uncle Dan cause he was so big it didn't take long for the tables to turn. Its great seeing similarities. I didn't have that until I was 21 so I love the whole family resemblance thing 16 years ago they filled the void I had always felt and I feel blessed at how it all turned out its as if I have been a part of their lives since Birth.

My favourite little cousin Dennis he is a sweetie and has always been very generous with his affection towards me. He was 5 when we met so for him I have always been there and I think he and Kyle are very similar also. I must say there temperament and being affectionate are there best traits cause I'm a huge Hugger and kisser. I will be the old aunt they dread at parties with forehead kissing and cheek pinching.

Well I started at 6am Sunday morning after only getting a few hours sleep (you can kinda tell in the pictures I'm a little drained) Anyway I was up went and got the girls from down the road at &am and we were all ready and driving to pick up Danicka by 8am then Kyle by 8.45 and to the church by 9.15.

Phew I am ready for bed at this point but when all the family started arriving and seeing them all after a few years I was awake and happy. The actual service went well except maybe for me. I have mentioned before I laugh at inappropriate moments well yes I rose to the occasion when the Chinese Priest said "God Bress Wu" I'm sorry but it was really funny and I started a line of giggles with Ben squeezing my hand a little firmer than normal and I got the grunt. LOL His indiscreet way of saying to shut up. I tried I swear I did but Loren was laughing Tayla was laughing son, brother and eldest daughter cringing at the sounds escaping my mouth that was tightly covered with my hand by now. They were behind me and every time I snorted I would get a giggle or a kick in the ass from behind which was no help to me what so ever. I finally contained myself and the service was just over when my brother whispered in my ear from behind "God Bress wu Sista" I lost it, a high pitched squeal escaped my mouth followed by a snort and an uncontrollable hysterical laugh to which all eyes were on me Buggar exit stage left, quick smart and in a hurry. We then went to the local Tavern for nibbles drinks and lunch the place was full of laughter reminiscing and catching up on the latest news and seeing how much the kids have grown.

We left there at 3.30pm yes a very long day but extremely enjoyable. I was to drive home that night so Ben was warned but everyone went to Kels (sis) just for a while as the party ended up there. He gave me that baby but oh just a little longer ill b good look and I succumbed. I dropped him off then I went and dropped Tayla off at her friends picked my Bella (dog) up from Danas and made it back to kels before dark. Everyone was very merry and having fun. The hiding of Ben behind my brother and Dan starting with the slurred come on sis no yet, come on a little longer spiel. I gave the yer gonna get it look and went and made another cup of tea and gave them an Hour and that was to be it I still had an hours drive in front of me.

Well in the mean time I had been getting text messages and phone calls from 2 friends of mine who shall remain nameless due to the privacy act. They wanted me to meet them in the Valley for Italian festival and were trying to coax me all day with pictures of fun and joy, you have to love multimedia. It had turned cold and I was getting croaky my ear was aching and I was tired so Ben got the last drink call much to every-ones disappointment and they were arguing about sleeping over when my phone rang. Now as I have said I am one of those friends you call when your in need of anything I love to be need so I am very versatile a shoulder to cry on, letters, researching, fun, laughs, cooking, driving, fighting or bailing you out of jail, most of these I can still do. If my friends call and say they need me though there is nothing that will stop me.

I would have to be dead not to show up and I wasn't dead.

SOooooo back to the phone call that led me to not getting to bed until 1am Monday morning, catching a chill while trying to break into a house for an hour, searching for a nikko pen to brand my better half with cuss words on his head and to still being at my sisters Monday morning with swollen hands, eyes and no voice and still an hours drive ahead of me instead of home in bed with my new electric blanket waking up at home thinking of what to have for breakfast.

That will have to wait until tomorrow.

Peace and Health To All XXXX

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Part 1 of Brissy Trip

Hey guys Huge weekend in Brissy, I went to Lyndell's first Saturday afternoon and we started her Vege garden its going to be great we just needed to arrange things in the right spot.
Just as we finished Tania arrived and we all got organised and went to a BBQ with her family which was a blast, great down to earth people with lots of laughs and fun around the fire as it was freezing so we love our outdoor fires.Everyone chatted laughed and the food was awesome it ws great to see Tania interact with her family and see people that Love her just as much as we do.
The back yard had a gorgeous 9 month old buckskin colt and Lyndell's son Darcy was the first on his unbroken back. Very cute.
After the BBQ back at Lyndell's for drinks with friends (I was on the tea) lol
Tania's Mum Trisha, she remembers me at 13/14 riding my horse past her house. I just found out she reads my blog so a big shout out to Trisha.
Thanks for Saturday night I had a really good time and we were made to feel really welcome from the whole family.
Well we went back to Lyndell's then to bed about 3.30am and I was up at 6 to pick the girls up and get ready to pick everyone up to go to the church for the christening.
This as youll find out tomorrow turned into another really long day that was beautiful fun and very eventfull. I caught up with my family (my blood family) and had a ball. I seen all the aunts uncles my little bro and all the cousins its as if I was always a part of the family and thats really cool. I am not really well but that will all become clear when I go into detail tomorrow as I am still recovering, just from a very long weekend. I will have pics of my family and the story along with it tomorrow.

Peace and Health To All XXXX