Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter Everyone

Well lets just say from the get go the hits just keep coming. I am tired and my body gave me a wake up call last Wednesday night after I had arrived home after my 3 hour drive and the stress of leaving mum I was feeling a little unwell and had a headache, this turned into a migraine that kept me in bed until Thursday night the type that gives you blurred vision and makes you want to hurl or cut your own throat. Not a lot of fun but I am no worse for wear now.
My girlfriend Neace is having a rough time of it though with her younger sister having had a stroke that same day, she is the same age I was when I had mine, early thirties but sadly hers is much worse. She was diagnosed with Lupus a few years back but the doctors now are thinking she has MS, which to me is just another kick in the guts on top of everything else she has to deal with. Neace is the same person I asked for Prayers for after the dramatic situation with her grand daughter a little while back.Tasha has four kids a 9 year old, a set of twins nearly 3 (I think) and a 1 year old. One of the twins has cerebral palsy and the other a month ago diagnosed with TB. This family just keeps rolling with the punches, it’s devastating the things they have had going on in the last few years my story is a fairy tale in comparison.My prayers are solid for them as they are truly a part of my extended family and have been since I was 12 so I ask that you all think of them when your talking to the big fella upstairs
It’s nearly midnight on Easter Sunday and I hope you all have had a great Easter break. I am going to Brisbane tomorrow to see my sis and my nieces she is down from Townsville for a very short visit but I have missed them so much and cant wait to squeeze them all. I am also picking Danicka up she is coming home with me for a few days so all my babies will be under the same roof again and I relish in the thought of that. My children give me strength (even if they shit me sometimes lol) I can’t wait.

We had a nice roast for lunch today and thanked God for the blessings in our lives, there are always people a lot worse off than us and I try to be grateful in the good and the bad because things can always get worse right when you least expect it.

Well my visit is short and sweet and I will get to you soon you know how I hate missing out but my time is limited. Not by too many on the computer this time just by time.

I have a few nasties to get off my chest about our house guest and my throwing him out late one night in the rain to drive where ever the hell he wanted as long as it was as far away from us as possible, but I will tell you about that soon ;) (way to much drama for this post)

I know that’s mean but I have little time for sleep and I just need that more than I need to purge. I am functioning on very little and its not working so I am trying to be kind to myself by leaving you all with that juicy no tell thought.

Oh and by the way Dana my name is Sharon but when I was born my biological mum named me Jacinta. My adopted mum named Sharon Lea.

Monday, March 17, 2008

St Patricks Day.......Happy Birthday Mum...............

The 17th of March marks St Patricks Day a tradition of Ireland that is celebrated all of the world now.This day also marks my mums 70th Birthday I was just about to leave to go back out to her when I was talking to her on the phone and wishing her a Happy Birthday when I heard breaking news from our Prime Minister on the news. Half listening to her and him I was left speechless for a minute by the words that came out of his mouth, words my mum has been waiting to hear personally for 65 years.

HMAS Sydney Australia's war ship that was sunk in Australia's biggest maritime disaster in our history has been FOUND.
My mums Dad Edward William Franklin my grandfather was on his way back to Australia to see my mum who had Polio as a little babe. During the war it was sunk by a German ship who pretended to be a dutch ship in distress, Australia went to their aid when the Germans opened fire both ships went down and over 640 of our men died on that day with no survivors.
This Ship being found after all these years is probably the best Birthday present my mum could have ever heard. I am so happy for her and I am still heart broken by the emotions of my mums pain in loosing her dad so young (there is a certain irony in our parallel lives)
Her step father was an evil man who beat and abused my grandmother and my mum worse.
Her child hood was frightful and the nightmare she endured to heart breaking to write about.

She is a true survivor turning 70 years old knowing now that her dad is found and she will always be grateful to have seen this in her life time.


Sunday, March 16, 2008

Friday the 14th marked my number 3's 15th birthday. We bought her a digital camera and she had some friends sleep over it was a good night. She spent the day at the beach today then went back to a friends house for another Birthday get together for him, I had gone through the usual motions about the so called get together as I have been there before with the my older two.The check list: Third degree lol Phone, address, who was going to be there and so on.I was to pick her and her girlfriend up at 10pm she had said honestly that she thought there would be some alcohol there as his mum is allowing him to drink on his Birthday,but we had discussed the drink situation and that is not something I would have had here with a large group of kids,but there was an adult there and so other children's behaviour and there parents level of acceptance towards there kids actions is not my responsibility unless I am directly involved.Guess who became directly involved at about 9.30? No surprise here I was just getting ready to go and was looking for the refedex to double check the location of where I was to pick her up when that phone call came and it was Taylas friend crying asking for me to come early as another girl had thrown a bottle at her and she was unable to find Tayla and she thought the police were coming.A million things went through my head at this point but I was less than 20 mins away and jogging to my car as I told her I was on my way. Then from this point things went from bad to worse My phone ran out of credit, the car had very little fuel in it I couldn't find the refedex only to realise our border had taken it. The Nav Man was in Ben's car so I was driving towards where I knew I had to be but unsure of the exact location.I stopped at the next town bought credit and asked directions 15 mins had passed and I was still unable to reach Tayla on the phone. I followed the directions I was given but they weren't as clear as I had thought and wasted another ten mins until I was finally on track and headed towards my girl. Passing 3 police cars did little for my confidence at that point but pulled into the lit up property with in half an hour.There were no other cars in sight and only a small group of teenagers under the house and no police. I was picturing riots and chaos in the streets,but nothing as frightfull as the scenes that played through my mind on the trip there. Ben had gotten a hold of Tayla on the phone and let her know I was on my way and there. I have jumped out of the car immediately opening the gate and calling her name, I spotted Taylas friend and she ran towards me and fell into my arms crying then Tayla followed not to far behind,there was no huge disturbance as I had once thought and I spotted the Birthday boys mum she was talking to the kids and I just got my girl and her friend in the car then found out what the hell was going on. Her friend was very upset and Tayla was just angry, my sense of relief acutely felt by both girls.Laura had been struck by another girl at the party (not invited) and was very upset and scared that she was going to follow through with more of her threats Tayla angry at every ones stupid behaviour. L didn't know where Tayla was because she was being attended to by the mum and Tayla couldn't find her. They live on acreage and the camp fire was down the back so T was looking for L and L was just beside herself in fear of this girl. It was all very dramatic but Tayla acted responsibly and was trying to call me as I was trying to call her. Both girls are quite happy never to go to another so called get together again for a while and she know understands why kids and alcohol do not mix and also that these get together's get talked about and people do turn up un invited and that is how problems start she is also glad she didnt lie to go because she would have no chance of getting out of that predicament except to fess up.I am very lucky with my kids and I am grateful for that she was honest with me from the beginning and so they were able to call when they felt uncomfortable in that situation.It was a good learning curb for her because she has always thought of me as too strict but respected my decisions on her going to party's and what not. She can now see what I mean about good intentions and bad decisions by a few changing the course of something innocent into something getting completely out of control.All way to much for my kid she just didn't get why everyone was so stupid or why they had to fight and how they could turn up uninvited. She is glad that we can talk about it all calmly because L could not tell her mum any of this. All my kids know they can talk to me about anything and their friends included.I have had a few call me at different times at 1 and 2 in the morning stuck some where knowing I would pick them up at anytime.That was a while ago with Dana and Ky but here we go again teenagers are not a smart as they think they are or as invincible.Tayla got a small taste of what can happen and on a very small scale and we are both happy for it to stay that way. In some ways I am glad she seen what can go wrong when kids haven't as many boundaries. I trust her and she knows she can trust me and I value that relationship with my kids but I don't think she will be asking me the next time she gets invited to a not Party but a get together, she is quite happy to just hang with her girls at home. (and so am I)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Its been fast paced back and forth back and forth and my poor my ass aches from sitting in the one spot for hours on end. I wish I had cruise control ;) so I could at least change positions a little.
Well this week has been jam packed with doctors and physios pharmacies meals on wheels and bureaucracy. I think I have a grip on most of it now. I head back Monday for more of the same. Mum is out of Hospital but not a lot better so this time I am going back with my eldest Danicka as she has a week off. I will be happy for the company and mum will be happy to see her first born grandchild for some extra love.

Friday the 14th marked my number 3's 15th birthday. We bought her a digital camera and she had some friends sleep over it was a good night. She spent the day at the beach today then went back to a friends house for another Birthday get together for him I picked them up at 10.

I am slowly getting things under control but cant wait for some normality I hope all is well with you guys.

Peace and Health xxx

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Just quickly stopping in to say thank you for all your kind words of support and to say my mum is still in Hospital. I am back and forth with the 3 hour one way trip trying to keep everything together at home and with mum and her place its draining but I am slowly getting it together.

I am trying to talk to doctors social workers and Allied health to way up all the options of doing things easily but with mums best interests at heart. She is fiercely independent but she will need some help and I just hope my best is good enough. I can not do it alone I need outside help but as you know government and red tape is universal no matter where you are in the world so my time here is very minimal but I will stop in when I am home. I am too tired for more so until next time I hope all is well with you all.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Irony and Facing Your Fears

Irony - incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs;

I had decided that I was going to avoid my home town for a while after the news that the man I have avoided for so many years was there. I knew I would have to go out there soon but I was going to leave it untill I could get my head around it. My decision on not facing my fears was short lived after speaking to mum on Sunday night. She sounded terrible, the sore back she had 2 weeks ago had escalated into me making a mad dash in the middle of the night out to her and getting her to a hospital. My mum turns 70 on St Patricks Day in just over a week but she he hadn't let on at how bad she was or that she has been sitting in her lounge chair for the past fortnight not eating and in excruciating pain unable to go to bed.
The look of relief on mums face to see me at 1am was heart breaking. She has always been an independent woman and asks nothing of any one. I am very angry that she let it go so long and that my surprise vist on a hunch found her in that condition.
She was admitted to hospital on Monday and is still there. I have come home for the night to try and organise my kids and get some things in order before I make the three hour trek back to be with her. This has put an urgency on my buying her house and getting it up to scratch for her to come home. I will be doing a lot of driving for a while and trying to divivide my time between her and my family.

My first night alone in my mums house the home I grew up in was awful. I haven't stayed in that house more then a dozen times in over 20 years and never once since I was 14 alone. It was daunting but empowering. I spent 3 nights there while mums been in hospital and i have overcome my fears and association of what happened about the house I grew up in and the same house my dad died in.
I am tired and stressed over what to do next and how to divide my time between my family and my mum but I will get there.

I just find it Ironic that I was left with no choice but to go to the last place in the world I wanted to be.

I hope all is well in your part of our beautiful world and get to everyone as soon as I can.

Peace and Health To All XXXX

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Just for You Sister

They are just too cute!!!